(Closed) What The HELL… is wrong with me

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee

NOTHING is wrong with you!  Your instincts are screaming at you and they are right! Move out and end it NOW. Nothing you describe would make ANYONE want to stay in this relationship. Don’t stay because you feel you shouldn’t give up, or because you’re ‘supposed to’ try, because ‘everyone has a past’, because you blah blah blah blah blech!!!

Or maybe your dream is to be miserable, unfulfilled, and end up divorced, possibly (probably) with a baby? Because that is exactly what is going to happen.

LISTEN TO YOUR GUT! You will deeply regret it if you stay with him.

 

Post # 3
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee

And think about this: Dating/engagement is when people are on their BEST behavior. Do you really want to see his worst?

Post # 4
Member
276 posts
Helper bee

Don’t marry this guy. Do not do it. Don’t wait until after the wedding to see if it gets better. It won’t. He’a immature, doesn’t share your life goals & values (presumably, since he didn’t finish school) AND you’re not sexually attracted to him?? You didn’t even mention a single redeeming quality. Save both of you a lot of trouble & leave now! Otherwise you’ll just end up divorced in a few years. 

Post # 5
Member
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

You dump him. Why on earth do you think this will get better after the wedding??!!! Smelly, immature, no work ethic or ambition…. not what husband dreams are made of.

Post # 6
Member
7787 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Based on this post I don’t know why you would want to marry this man! Shared goals, respect and sexual attraction are very important in a marriage. You should be questioning this. Vows don’t make things like this better. 

Post # 7
Member
1469 posts
Bumble bee

Nope. Nope. Nope. Your not marrying this guy. First step 1. Postpone wedding. 2. Move out. 3. Tell your family and close friends so that they can help you. If anyone asks you why you didn’t want to get married? Just say you didn’t want to. Which should be the only reason you need. Xo

Post # 10
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Dude. Your posts are so back and fourth. One minute it’s a thread like this. The next your concerned about wedding shoes and your bridal party. I am not fully getting this. 

Theres zero reason to marry this dude. How do you pull off having sex once and decide it’s not for you and then you both continue to plan a wedding?

You will be miserable if you marry this man. Pull the plug. Stop posting about your dream dress. Just focus on what you see in this relationship. The sooner you stop this the better. 

Post # 11
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee

“he has a drug history and just scared that if i dump him he will go back on the drugs and his family will point a finger at me”

So you would rather spend the rest of your life, (or until you get divorced), with an immature, stinky, often unemployed drug addict rather than having people WRONGLY blame you for HIS CHOICE to go back on drugs??? And, sorry, but even if you stay with him, he can STILL go back on drugs.

Do NOT base your life choices on someone else’s poor decisions.

Why are you even conflicted about this?????

Post # 12
Hostess
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
missjitters :  TRUST YOUR GUT. DO NOT MARRY HIM.

Post # 13
Member
6243 posts
Bee Keeper

His drug problems aren’t your problem. You are no way beholden to this man or his family  

What on earth are you thinking?!

get advice on assets and get friends that are sensible and support you around you and cancel everything and get out. 

Then get some therapy to help you understand why on earth you’d have considered staying in the set up. 

Best of luck to you. I hope this thread has given you the first step to get out and improve your life hugely. 

Post # 14
Member
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
missjitters :  his drug problem is HIS problem not yours!!! Just break up with him in the kindest way you can and move on.

Post # 15
Member
1345 posts
Bumble bee

Just break up. I’d say most women have dated a loser at one point or another, but we don’t marry them.

The topic ‘What The HELL… is wrong with me’ is closed to new replies.

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