Post # 1
So here is a little break down, my Fiance is 30 years old turning 31 and i am 28 years old, we got engaged recently and moved in together i used to live on my own and he was unemployed and started working recently he didnt finish his school and just for record but hey who am i to judge the next person we all have a past.
But lately living with him and planning our wedding has killed every joy of it, he is so childish and immature, we argue about everything, the fact that he didnt finish school has an effect on him i feel like i have to baby him about everything, also i’m not sexually attracted to him we had sex once and after that i kept making excuses because of his body oudor, i have told him about the body oudor and he has done nothing about it.
he has no ambition and he wants a baby, i just dont feel like getting married anymore but i also dont want to make a mistake to drop out because of these things i’m so confused i try telling myself that after the wedding maybe things will get better but its not motivating enough
Our wedding is due in 2 months and i just dont feel like planning anything, things have been hanging in the air i just keep procrastinating which is unlike me. I told him i want to move out but he does not want me to move… but i cant handle it anymore i’m not sure whether i love him he is always around me and i dont get my space…
Please HELP me bees… what should i do?????
Post # 2
NOTHING is wrong with you! Your instincts are screaming at you and they are right! Move out and end it NOW. Nothing you describe would make ANYONE want to stay in this relationship. Don’t stay because you feel you shouldn’t give up, or because you’re ‘supposed to’ try, because ‘everyone has a past’, because you blah blah blah blah blech!!!
Or maybe your dream is to be miserable, unfulfilled, and end up divorced, possibly (probably) with a baby? Because that is exactly what is going to happen.
LISTEN TO YOUR GUT! You will deeply regret it if you stay with him.
Post # 3
And think about this: Dating/engagement is when people are on their BEST behavior. Do you really want to see his worst?
Post # 4
Don’t marry this guy. Do not do it. Don’t wait until after the wedding to see if it gets better. It won’t. He’a immature, doesn’t share your life goals & values (presumably, since he didn’t finish school) AND you’re not sexually attracted to him?? You didn’t even mention a single redeeming quality. Save both of you a lot of trouble & leave now! Otherwise you’ll just end up divorced in a few years.
Post # 5
You dump him. Why on earth do you think this will get better after the wedding??!!! Smelly, immature, no work ethic or ambition…. not what husband dreams are made of.
Post # 6
Based on this post I don’t know why you would want to marry this man! Shared goals, respect and sexual attraction are very important in a marriage. You should be questioning this. Vows don’t make things like this better.
Post # 7
Nope. Nope. Nope. Your not marrying this guy. First step 1. Postpone wedding. 2. Move out. 3. Tell your family and close friends so that they can help you. If anyone asks you why you didn’t want to get married? Just say you didn’t want to. Which should be the only reason you need. Xo
Post # 8
His cousin which has been my best friend since 2007 told me she could see in my face that i’m not happy giving the fact that she knows him well.
I just need a plan because i didnt mention that he has a drug history and just scared that if i dump him he will go back on the drugs and his family will point a finger at me,
Post # 9
This is the exact thing my friend told me to do…
Post # 10
Dude. Your posts are so back and fourth. One minute it’s a thread like this. The next your concerned about wedding shoes and your bridal party. I am not fully getting this.
Theres zero reason to marry this dude. How do you pull off having sex once and decide it’s not for you and then you both continue to plan a wedding?
You will be miserable if you marry this man. Pull the plug. Stop posting about your dream dress. Just focus on what you see in this relationship. The sooner you stop this the better.
Post # 11
“he has a drug history and just scared that if i dump him he will go back on the drugs and his family will point a finger at me”
So you would rather spend the rest of your life, (or until you get divorced), with an immature, stinky, often unemployed drug addict rather than having people WRONGLY blame you for HIS CHOICE to go back on drugs??? And, sorry, but even if you stay with him, he can STILL go back on drugs.
Do NOT base your life choices on someone else’s poor decisions.
Why are you even conflicted about this?????
Post # 12
TRUST YOUR GUT. DO NOT MARRY HIM.
Post # 13
His drug problems aren’t your problem. You are no way beholden to this man or his family
What on earth are you thinking?!
get advice on assets and get friends that are sensible and support you around you and cancel everything and get out.
Then get some therapy to help you understand why on earth you’d have considered staying in the set up.
Best of luck to you. I hope this thread has given you the first step to get out and improve your life hugely.
Post # 14
his drug problem is HIS problem not yours!!! Just break up with him in the kindest way you can and move on.
Post # 15
Just break up. I’d say most women have dated a loser at one point or another, but we don’t marry them.