(Closed) What things do people say that annoy you most?

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sorry about your miscarriage, and am glad to see you in the POAS boards  🙂  I hear you about the everyone bugging you thing- even though Darling Husband and I have only told my BFF that we are trying (my bff is somewhere on these boards as she’s due in March so gets it), I have an a-hole coworker who expects me to immediately get pregnant and move back to my family in Boston.  He asks in a “joking” way every other week if I’m pregnant, in front of my ther coworkers. He’s been better since I had a talk with him but seriously, stop trying to remind my boss (who knows we will be ttc in the next year or so- we discussed my future, great conversation!!) that there is a chance I may leave in a few years so therefore he is “important” to the company… so yeah, I feel your pain 😉 How are you handling it?

Post # 5
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

“Maybe your womb is barren and you will have to become one of those women who have to steal babies to have one.”

whaaaaat!!! I hope that man doesn’t get laid for a week because of that comment!!!!!!  I can’t believe that happened, I’m so sorry!

Post # 7
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mrs. Doily:  Thats seriously harsh, I hope his wife cracked him one up the side of his head for that!

Theres the usual grinding comments,like “as soon as you relax,it will happen” I have to try really hard to grit my teeth and keep smiling with that one.

My SIL just had a little girl, and as much as I love her, SIL comes out with the worst things to say. Keeping in mind that they had been TTC for about 18 months before she fell pregnant, she always tells me “as soon as you stop trying, it will happen for you!” or “dont think about it too much,otherwise its just torture, thats what it was like for me!” Yeah lady,I love you to pieces, weve been trying for twice as long as you and I have PCOS, so it juat aint gonna be that simple!

The best, and my personal favourite is when I say I have PCOS and explain what it is. Most of my close friends have come up with how a friend of a friend had that, and they went on to have a zillion kids “so dont worry its not that bad!” jeez, lord help me.Undecided

Post # 9
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@Mrs. Doily:  I’m sooo glad you are back!!!!!!!!! =) I just saw this. I thought it was you!!! =) Again, I’m so sorry about your MC… Hope you get KU soon with a sticky baby!! Ugh, I could go on forever about things people say that hurt or annoy me. I, like you, was open (ish) about TTC and now people continue to ask me every time I see them if we are knocked up yet. I’m like, “Do you see this beer in my hand? Would it be there if I was pregnant? NO!” and they proceed to tell me just relax, which is really f’ing irritating with this recent IF stuff. It’s like, “Geez! It’s not a matter of relaxing for me! I really can’t do this without medicine!!!”

Post # 11
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

See, all these stories just confirmed my decision to not tell anyone.  i just say “we’ll see”, “maybe”, “what happens, happens” and a bunch of other non-committal stuff. once i was pushed and just said “no comment”.  some of these comments, wow.

Post # 12
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I can’t believe these comments!

Like @CuriousOne: when people ask me when we will have babies I just say things like “we’ll see” or “I don’t know,” because people don’t need to know what goes on in the privacy of our bedroom and IF we are having trouble conceiving, I don’t always want to be asked why I’m not pregnant yet.

With the first preggo friend of the group, all of the other ladies (me excluded) are beginning to be more open about their plans.  One pariticular friend has made it everyone’s business that November is baby making month for she and her husband.  If I had a dollar for every time she talked about it the other night I’d be rich!  My point is, the whole time she was going on and on about it all I could think was how things don’t always turn out like you planned and sometimes things end in miscarriage, like they did for me this month.  It just infuriates me that this particular person is always so sure of everything and her plans but TTC is the kind of beast that no one has control of and I just keep thinking to myself you have no idea what you’re in for.  And because you don’t stop talking about it, practically to the point that we all know the day you plan for it to happen, everyone will know and everyone will be waiting for that news.  And should you struggle, like so many of us have and do, you have single-handedly aired that laundry on your own. And you will most likely regret it.

And if they do just magically get preggo on the first try while I’ll of course be happy for our friends the part of me still struggling to get and stay pregnant is going to suffer a serious case of W.T.F.!!!

So glad I found this post, after the other night, I have wanted to get this annoyance off my chest and even thought about writing a post on it becuase I sometimes wonder if it makes me an awful person to feel like this.  Who has babies first, next, last isn’t a race and I’m not making it out to be but at the same time when you’ve clearly been trying to get something before it was even a blip on the radar of others, it’s frustrating to be left in the wake of other people’s luck… .

Post # 13
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mrs. Doily: I just had to comment and say I am horrified by this comment that you received. Wtf are some people thinking?! Thank goodness his wife was able to smooth things over with you.

Post # 14
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’ve been TTC for 9 years now and I’ve heard some pretty insensitive things over the years.  My exH and I were diagnosed with “unexplained infertility” although my current RE told me he definitely had low sperm count.  Darling Husband also has low motility sperm and our chances of getting pregnant without IVF are pretty slim.

I’m apparently pretty fertile and no problems can (still) be found.  Lately (and I think it’s b/c of my age) people are saying to me “Not everyone was meant to have kids….it’s no big deal if you don’t want them!”  The first time I heard that I was in shock….since then, I kindly tell them I’m trying to get pregnant and LOVE kids.  The last thing I want people (especially coworkers) to think is that I don’t like children. 

We are also coming up on our 1 year anniversary so more and more people are asking us if we are gonna have kids….honestly, we are the only couple overseas in our area that does NOT have kids. 

Darling Husband just told me last night his coworker and his wife (got married in June) are expecting their first…..you could see the hurt in his eyes when he told me.  Plus we found out Friday night that his younger brother (30) and his Fiance are pregnant (unplanned) and Darling Husband said he doesn’t understand WHY everyone else can have one but not us…I’ve been down this road before so I’m immune to it I guess.  But it still sucks!

Post # 15
Member
4951 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My own mother said that my “eggs are getting old.” WTF?!

I was married to my ex for 16 years, and we obviously didn’t have children. She thought it was so funny to say “well if I had grandbabies….” at every turn and give this sad face, like me not having children was just to piss her off.

Then a few months ago I was holding my cousin’s newborn. My brother took a picture for me and my mother said “oh yes, get that picture, because she that’ll never happen for real.”

I stood up and said “my uterus and whether I can or can’t have children is not up for discussion!”

All this from a woman who not only is my mother, but it also took her several years to get pregnant with my brother and me. So you’d think she’d have some f*cking sense to keep her f*cking trap shut! Yell

Post # 16
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

People don’t even know we are TTC but because we just got married eveyone assumes that I’m pregnant! Stop asking me! It’s none of your business and when I get pregnant I’ll share when I want to! 

Had to get that off my chest.

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