(Closed) NEED HELP…have to order invitations tonight!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

if he’s from texas i’d trust him.. get people invited at 6.30

Post # 4
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

I can’t help at all in terms of heat.  But PLEASE do not lie to your guests about the start time.  If you want it to start at 6:45, then list that.

As someone who is always punctual, and gets to events early, if you wrote 6:30, I would get there at 6:10 at the latest, so then to have to sit and wait for extra time after the time you picked, I would be annoyed.

Post # 5
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@andielovesj:  You are not the only guest though. There are many others and THEY may be late. My fiance and I put 5 on the invitations and are planning our ceremony for 5:30 because we know plenty of our friends won’t be punctual even for a wedding, and even if they arrive at 5 it will take a while for everyone to get seated (we listed on the website though that we expect the ceremony to start at 5:30).

OP, 6:30 is going to be a little cooler, so I’d go with that. If you do 6, your ambitious early arrivers will get there at 5 and that heat is still pretty brutal. Though in May it will all be brutal for northerners.

Post # 6
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@samanthaandchase:  I  am a Texas girl getting married in July and our photographer said 6 would be good.  Honestly it’s going to be hotvwhatever time.  I am having my wedding programs be fans to help with this.

Post # 7
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@distracts:  exactly! We called for a 5 reception when really it’s going to be more like 5:15-5:30.  Our families are notorious for being late, so people who get there early can deal for the extra time (I’m an early bird too and have never been annoyed having to wait – in fact, I was annoyed the one wedding I got there right on time and they had already started!) Weddings are notorious for starting late in my circle!

Post # 8
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@distracts:  You are not the only guest though. There are many others and THEY may be late. My fiance and I put 5 on the invitations and are planning our ceremony for 5:30 because we know plenty of our friends won’t be punctual even for a wedding, and even if they arrive at 5 it will take a while for everyone to get seated (we listed on the website though that we expect the ceremony to start at 5:30).


I don’t see how punishing people who do the right thing, and show up on time is the right thing to do.

Maybe if more people didn’t accomodate tardy people they would learn to not be late.  Instead, accomodating them, thus punishing people who actually care about you enough to show up on time.

Post # 9
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@samanthaandchase:  You case is one reason that I really like etiquette.  It gives the correct behaviour and isn’t just your opinion on the subject.

It is perfectly polite to not have a shower.  Anyone who gives you any flack about it, is a rude boor who you are probably best to start distancing yourself from.

I would really avoid doing as you suggested in your first post of telling people to bring gifts to the wedding or mail instead.  It is most polite to not say anything about gifts at all.  Anyone who really wants to, will find a way to get you a gift.

Post # 10
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I take it based on andielovesj: comments above… that the OP has edited this posting a few times adding / removing content

First let me comment on the printed time issue

The time should be the time that you “expect” the Ceremony to start.  Not the time that you wish your Guests to arrive. Etiquette wise, arrival time is their’s to figure out as adults (being late is indeed in poor form)

As stated, it sucks if you write down Wedding at 5 PM, but then don’t start the walk down the aisle until 5:30 PM… that means that there will be polite on-the-ball guests who will have been sitting maybe by then for an hour… as it isn’t uncommon for folks to arrive 15, 20 or 30 minutes before the time printed in the Invite (and what of them… expecting the wedding at 5 will they find the church doors closed / locked at 4:30 ??? What message does that convey ?)

No if you want the Wedding to start at 5:30 PM then you write 5:30 PM… with the knowledge that things can run a few minutes late… in that it isn’t uncommon for a Bride to arrive at the Church ontime, but actually begin her walk down the aisle say at 5:35 or 5:40… 5:45 and one can only assume that things have become rather chaotic behind the scenes !! (Not a good sign for a Wedding “wanting to get off on the right foot”)

Other stuff

From an Etiquette perspective, Invites should only have the bare necessities of info for Guests going to the Ceremony

All other Wedding Details (Hotels, Driving Directions, Maps, etc) should either be on one’s Wedding Website or passed along by word of mouth via a reliable family member (pre-Internet… this was the job of the MOB / FOB and the Wedding Party)

And as said, any mention of gifts / gift giving is seen from an Etiquette perspective as being RUDE / CRASS (although it is somewhat acceptable now to put on one’s Wedding Website where one is Registered… if it is done in a subtle way.  “Bride & Groom are registered at Macys” … with NO REFERENCE to any other info… or REQUESTS etc).  Guests are supposed to be smart enough to ask Questions / figure it out for themselves if THEY WISH TO GIVE A GIFT

In that Gifts are not a mandatory part of going to a Wedding… but something that someone does because they want to !!

You can find more info on what does and does not go into a Wedding Invite Package on various Etiquette Websites (ie Miss Manners – Emily Post etc) or by looking thru past topics here on WBee

Or ask more Questions… and we’ll give you a hand sorting out the details…

 

Post # 11
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@andielovesj:  I’m with her on this one. If you know its going to be more like 6:45pm then please say that. I am religiously on time for everything, and by ‘on time’ I mean I always show up 15 minutes early. I have mini panic attacks when I show up AT the actual time I was supposed to be there.

For those guests that are going to be ‘fashionably late’ (ie. RUDE) then they would frigging miss my ceremony. And I wouldn’t care.

Post # 12
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We are taking wedding pictures prior to the wedding that way you don’t have to have a cocktail hour. that way the guests are not waiting till 8pm to eat

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