Post # 1
I have a bridesmaid that just had a baby a couple weeks ago. When she got pregnant, we said we would just play the whole thing by ear. She is nursing very frequently and we went in to look at dresses and nothing that “went” with the wedding party seemed to work. She decided that it would be easier to not stand up at the wedding, which was a possibility all along, but I still want to include her in the program as she will be doing all the other “bridesmaid stuff” – (getting ready with us, attending the rehearsal dinner, taking pictures).
I think it would be confusing if the program listed five bridesmaids and only four were standing up, but I don’t know what to call her.
I was thinking honorary bridesmaid, but is that too close to maid of honor?
Any other suggestions?
Thanks for your help!
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I would just list her as normal.
ETA “honorary BM” impiies that the Bridesmaid or Best Man didn’t do any of the work of a Bridesmaid or Best Man but is being honored as if she did, so I think that would be an incorrect title for this occassion. She is still serving as a bridesmaid even if she doesn’t stand up there at the front. Is she still in the dress, holding a bouquet? Still walking down the aisle but then taking a seat? That’s what usually happens in these cases.
Post # 4
Isn’t it usually matron of honor? I have two older sisters who are already married and at my wedding they will be my matrons of honor while the other two ladies will be my bridesmaids…
Post # 5
I’d just call her a Bridesmaid. No one will get confused and think they’re at the wrong wedding if there’s 5 names in the program and 4 ladies standing up. Even if the dresses don’t match, if you seat her at the first row for the ceremony and give her a bouquet or corsage matching the rest of the ladies, people will figure out pretty quickly that #1 she’s part of the bridal party and #2 the wee baby she’s toting around is the reason she’s not lined up with the rest.
“Honorary bridesmaid” just feels clunky to me, kind of like a term you made up just for the sake of everyone getting a title.
Post # 6
@lusik303: She isn’t the maid/matron of honor. She is a bridesmaid – well technically bridesmatron, but I was just ignoring sematintics for this post.
@mrsSonthebeach: Hmm, then I’m not sure what to do. I understand what you mean by honorary bridesmaid, but also no, she is not walking down the aisle and doesn’t have a matching dress. She will have a bouquet I guess (because I ordered 5) but I’m not sure how she is going to juggle a newborn and a bouquet. She wants to be seated (and she’ll have her newborn) with guests before the procession.
We’ve included all of our family in the wedding and she is also my Future Sister-In-Law so she would be the only family member left out if I didn’t put her in the program. (It’s something I want to do, not something she asked me to do).
Post # 7
definitely keep her listed as Bridesmaid 🙂
Post # 8
I had a bridesmaid that was doing the music. She was still listedsuch a bridesmaid.
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I’d still just keep her as “Bridesmaid.” I think it’s fine even if she wants to be seated earlier. I’d include her with the bridesmaid when you have the grand entrance into the reception. She can walk in holding the infant if she wants. And if she needs to go in and sit sooner, she can get up and come back out fo the room to reenter.
Post # 10
Personally, I would keep her listed as a bridesmaid on the program, and have her seated in a place of honour, at the front with the family. She can be seated before the processional, but maybe have her seated later on (like when the family is seated, in order to make it more special, and to help her stand out). If she doesn’t want to be seated at a special time, then she can just be seated whenever, but still have her seated in one of the reserved rows… at an end though, in case she needs to leave b/c of baby. Still giving her a bouquet is a lovely idea as well. She will likely have the baby in a carrier, so she’ll be able to have both.
Post # 11
List her anyway…no one is going to audit your wedding and penalize you for inaccurate programs….
Post # 12
I would list her as a bridesmaid. Someone can explain during the introductions at the reception dinner “Its obvious why ____ wasn’t able to stand with the rest of the wedding party at the altar. Little ( insert baby’s name ) still requires a lot of loving care and attention. Welcome (baby’s name) and (Mom’s name), we are so glad that you were able to be with us today.”
Post # 13
I think I’m switching careers….wedding auditor, people could bribe me with cake…lots and lots of cake….
Post # 14
Thanks everyone! So the consensus is “bridesmaid”. It makes sense – with only 8 days to the wedding, I’m overthinking everything!
And, @julies1949 I like that suggestion!
@Nona99: Isn’t there a show about auditing weddings…
(Four weddings – I hate that show!)
Post # 15
Definitely list her as a bridesmaid. Honorary would imply that she didn’t actually do anything.
People will get it, or not even notice.
Post # 16
@Crabbabs: Seriously? Oh man, that would rock! After they get back from their honeymoon we have a sit down and I bust out a spreadsheet with all these deficiencies….additional fees charged for playing the Electric Slide, typo on the program and mismatched linens on a spectral scale….brides would fear me!