(Closed) What to call my future MIL? Mrs… or Mom?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Is she serious! Even in my Dads culture and family where it`s rude to call your elders by their first names, so you refer to everyone as aunty so so, people call their inlaws by their nicknames or first names.

I think refering to her as Mrs.Lastname is too formal and weird. Maybe your Fi should approach her and say,  he wants to you too feel welcome into the family. And you feel uncomfortable calling anyone other then your mother mom. Maybe there an nickname you can call her.

Post # 4
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

If I was told my options were “Mrs. Whatever” or “Mom” then I would avoid calling her anything since I’m not comfortable with either. Never would I EVER call my Mother-In-Law “Mom” and “Mrs. Whatever” is WAYYY too formal and stuffy for my liking. I say you start calling her “hey you” and see how much she likes that.

Post # 5
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

Oh boy… well what my aunt did might work for you. She felt uncomfortable calling her in-laws by their first names (they were okay with it- she was not) and it was too weird for her to call them Mr and Mrs C when she was Mrs C herself. So she called them nothing, she simply found ways to avoid using their names at all. Then after she had children she called them Grandma and Grandpa. (not assuming you want children, but apparently it worked)

Post # 6
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I would be super uncomfortable calling my Mother-In-Law Mrs X or Mum

@UpstateCait:  Me too, It is quite easy to not call people anything, my really close gf recently changed her first name, just cause she didn’t like it….I now get her attention by saying “Hey there’ “Hey You” “Excuse me” lol, cause I can’t bring myself to use her new name.

Post # 7
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

She’s probably trying to (not so gently) nudge you in the direction of Mom.  My fiance calls my mom MA (in this super annoying accent, I have no idea how this started) and I call his by her actual name.

How about coming up with a cute nickname for her? 

Post # 8
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yeah, I say just avoid calling her anything.  I think it’s pretty easy, I very rarely use my in-laws’ names, although I use first names.

Post # 10
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I never realized until recently how weird it is that my mom called/calls my dad’s parents Mom and Dad.  Well…let’s see.  My grandma was “Mum” and Grandpa is Dad.  So like sometimes my mom will say, “Dad and I went to see Dad…I mean Grandpa.”  

 

I call my fiance’s parents by their first names…and what is ALSO weird is that so does he (at least for his dad)!  He and his siblings call their father by his first name, and their mom they call Mumma.  

 

Weird all around!  Call her Mrs. whatever until it becomes old, and then call her by her first name.

Post # 11
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@GolferGal:  my Mother-In-Law is not my Mom and I dont feel comfortable calling her that.  she has slipped it into conversations, implying she would like me to call her Mom.  But frankly, I dont care.  I call her by her first name.

Maybe when you have kids it will be easier, they usually go by “Grandma” or whatever your kids call her (if you have them)

Post # 12
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

@upstatecait – you took the words right out of my mouth!

Post # 13
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Mrs.Lastname? Ick, really? I don’t think I’ve ever called anyone except teachers that. I would feel really weird using her first name, as well, as the only person I call by first name is FI’s stepmom. His parents I call mama and dad. I call his grandparents grandma and grandpa. 

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