Post # 46
” Your fiance doesn’t want kids and doesn’t sound like he values marriage much if at all in general. I would guess that he doesn’t see it as necessary because his lifestyle is childless and he doesn’t see marriage as something that he needs to have a lifetime partner. I can only guess how he feels but i would guess its something along those lines. He sounds like he doesn’t know why he would want to be married to anyone”
This is exactly it! He doesn’t see the point of marriage for people that don’t want kids.
I also wanted to add he is not one to hold on to a relationship that he doesn’t want just to be with someone. I know some people can’t be alone but that’s not the case here.
Post # 47
Than your choice is pretty clear. 3 options: Get married at the courthouse and accept he is doing it just for you and not because he values marriage. Cancel the wedding and just make peace that the man you are with doesn’t believe in marriage so if you stay with him you won’t ever have that. Sign legal documents that cover your rights as partners in case of death or sickness etc. Break up with him and go find someone who does value and want marriage.
Post # 48
Oh I see. I just saw the ultimatum thread, and I would have to say in this instance it may not work in your favor. Honestly you cannot catch divorce so why is he afraid of divorce rates? Its not like you could never get divorced if you do marry him… but… he may really resent you. It is easy for me to see why this may be a bad idea to go through with it, but I really empathize with why you gave him this ultimatum. If he’s so unhappy to go ahead with the marriage, maybe you should call it off. But I know it is not so simple. You may never have the relationship you want with him. You could also go through with the marriage and see how things are down the road, and he could hang this over your head, or maybe it will all be fine except he is not enthusiastic about the actual marriage part of your relationship. I do know that if someone drags their feet in such a way that it may be best to move on. But like I said, I empathize with why you gave the ultimatum. Some things can’t be fixed.
Post # 49
Will you be actually following through on the ultimatum? Do you have plans in place to end the relationship and move out on March 1 if he backs out of the wedding?
Post # 50
There are many legal and financial benefits to marriage (without kids):
Post # 52
Yes! I have looked at and found an apartment I like, I just need to sign the lease.
Post # 53
If you have gone as far as finding an apartment, applying for it and have a lease waiting, you are ready to move out. Even if you want to continue the relationship, you should move out. Sounds like you both could benefit from a little distance. If marriage is a must for you, start your next relationship with that info front and center. And from now on, believe people when they tell you their truth, too.