Post # 1
My family wants me to change my wedding date for 2-3 years from now. We spent all day, as a family, picking out our previous date which is a year from now. My fiance and I love our date and don’t want to change it. My mother is angry that we’re firm in our date and is withdrawing all help from the wedding. We were already footing the bill ourselves so keeping our date doesn’t seem outrageous or unfair. It’s extremely disappointing not having her there to help me plan and be involved with choosing colors, a wedding dress or any of the other things mother’s are supposed to help their daughters with. Are my fiance and I truly out of line by not moving the date? Should I just continue my planning and suck up the fact that my mother is not involved?
Post # 3
What is their reasoning for the date change?
Post # 4
If you are footing the bill then you should be able to delegate when you are having the wedding. Why do they want you to change it?
PS I am a long engagment bride and two years is a LOOOONG time to be engaged. I wish we wouldn’t have waited so long. I can’t even imagine a 3 year engagement. But, that’s just me.
Post # 5
@RoyalLime: Yes I was wondering this as well. What is she not sharing with the rest of the family as to why she is so adamant against your date?
I am also a somewhat long engagement bride, we will have a total of 18 months. The one thing I can say is I am grateful for having that much time to plan, save and think up ideas. It certainly has gone by fast despite being so long.
Post # 6
@RoyalLime: My brother is leaving for basic in April and my parent’s 25th anniversary year is in Sept. Our date is December 2012. They were the only reasons given so I think its just a hard change for my mom having my brother move to Georgia and my getting married in the same year.
Post # 7
I am a 17 month engagement bride. I could not imagine having to wait even an hour longer. The benefit of the wait has been good because I’ve had time to plan and get things together. But, I am so very impatient. Why is your mother so against your date?
Post # 8
@miss crane: I think your mom is trying to pull a fast one over on you. I’d keep the date the same. If the reasoning was to have your brother attend or something like that – it would be more understandable than just having a lot going on in the year. Conversely, I’d think having a wedding to look forward to after an emotionally trying year would be a POSITIVE thing.
Post # 9
Tell your mom to pull up her big girl panties and get over it. At least you aren’t scheduling it right when your brother leaves. I could understand if you wanted your brother there and basic conflicted with it. In the end, I think she’s in shock and maybe you just need to give her a moment to let it all sink in.
Post # 10
That doesn’t sound like great reasoning. I think you just have to hold firm on this one and she’ll have to find a way to get through her empty nest syndrome
Post # 11
I would be firm and keep the date but let your mom know that you love her and really want her to be a part of the wedding planning. If she says no, tell her that the invitation is open and if she changes her mind to call you. It’s a big deal, and it will be her loss if she chooses not to be a part of it because it’s a lot for her to handle. Don’t let it ruin your wedding planning! Have fun with it, and if your mom chooses to participate then that is all the better! With that said, in the end you need to do what feels right to you. It just sounds like she is throwing a little bit of a tantrum because you are not doing what she wants you to do.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House
I think she probably has ulterior motives. Since you’re paying I’d just keep planning and not let her get in the way. She will get over it eventually and come around.
Post # 13
I think waiting that long is an unreasonable suggestion from your mother. Also, a years engagement is long enough from experience!! I’d hold your ground with her and she’ll probably get over it.