(Closed) What to do?!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

What is their reasoning for the date change?

Post # 4
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

If you are footing the bill then you should be able to delegate when you are having the wedding. Why do they want you to change it?

PS I am a long engagment bride and two years is a LOOOONG time to be engaged. I wish we wouldn’t have waited so long. I can’t even imagine a 3 year engagement. But, that’s just me.

Post # 5
11166 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@RoyalLime:  Yes I was wondering this as well. What is she not sharing with the rest of the family as to why she is so adamant against your date?

I am also a somewhat long engagement bride, we will have a total of 18 months. The one thing I can say is I am grateful for having that much time to plan, save and think up ideas. It certainly has gone by fast despite being so long.

Post # 7
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I am a 17 month engagement bride.  I could not imagine having to wait even an hour longer.  The benefit of the wait has been good because I’ve had time to plan and get things together.  But, I am so very impatient.  Why is your mother so against your date?

Post # 8
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@miss crane:  I think your mom is trying to pull a fast one over on you.  I’d keep the date the same.  If the reasoning was to have your brother attend or something like that – it would be more understandable than just having a lot going on in the year.  Conversely, I’d think having a wedding to look forward to after an emotionally trying year would be a POSITIVE thing.

Post # 9
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Tell your mom to pull up her big girl panties and get over it. At least you aren’t scheduling it right when your brother leaves. I could understand if you wanted your brother there and basic conflicted with it. In the end, I think she’s in shock and maybe you just need to give her a moment to let it all sink in.

Post # 10
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

That doesn’t sound like great reasoning. I think you just have to hold firm on this one and she’ll have to find a way to get through her empty nest syndrome

Post # 11
69 posts
Worker bee

I would be firm and keep the date but let your mom know that you love her and really want her to be a part of the wedding planning. If she says no, tell her that the invitation is open and if she changes her mind to call you. It’s a big deal, and it will be her loss if she chooses not to be a part of it because it’s a lot for her to handle. Don’t let it ruin your wedding planning! Have fun with it, and if your mom chooses to participate then that is all the better! With that said, in the end you need to do what feels right to you. It just sounds like she is throwing a little bit of a tantrum because you are not doing what she wants you to do.

Post # 12
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

I think she probably has ulterior motives. Since you’re paying I’d just keep planning and not let her get in the way. She will get over it eventually and come around. 

Post # 13
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I think waiting that long is an unreasonable suggestion from your mother.  Also, a years engagement is long enough from experience!!  I’d hold your ground with her and she’ll probably get over it.

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