(Closed) Advice Needed

posted 6 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 3
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You can definitely do some cute things to make your out of towners feel welcome.  Just because it is expensive and fancy, doesn’t mean anyone should feel out of place.  As long as the environment is welcoming and people have a good time, it’s actually a good thing that your Mother-In-Law is helping out.

A couple suggestions…

1) Talk to DJ/officiant about incorporating some french language music or readings… maybe a poem or a pop song?  My fiance is also from another country, so I’m looking into bringing a couple pop songs from his home country, so his family has some stuff just for them.

2) try to include your immediate family as much as possible.. ask them to work as ushers, to greet people when they come in, or to make sure everyone signs the guest book.  That will make them feel like they are part of things. 

3) Maybe try to integrate your home flag/map into some of the decorations.  You could put a big map with pins for where everyone is from, or bring some of your local flavor to the meal/dessert. 

4) just be honest with your Mother-In-Law, and say you don’t want something that feels stuffy and pretentious.  I can’t imagine ANYONE enjoys that, even rich guests! Tell her you want a buffet, so you don’t have white gloved waiters around, or just say you want something more “rustic”.  Try to get her to pour all that money into things that won’t make it feel stuffy. You’d be amazed how much you can spend on alcohol, so focus on that and steer her away from things that would make it feel too fancy.

5) Consider making it a casual dress code… I’m not sure what the etiquette is on that, or how you’d go about it, but maybe then the guests from both sides would feel more similar.

And your English sounds perfect to me:-)

Post # 4
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Is there a way for you to incorporate part of your French Canadian heritage in the wedding? Maybe it would help your family feel more ‘at home’?

I solidly believe that money or education does not make you a better person, nor does it make you more knowledgeable in all things in life- if you are a smart person, you will be a smart person, regardless of whether or not you have a degree. Maybe you could have a trivia game about all things Quebecois? Or have a midnight poutine snack option? etc. etc?

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