(Closed) What to do? A tad ranty.

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

JUst say no, sorry I have to do x with my kids right now, but I’ll see you at the shower.  Sounds like should have said no a while ago, but you can say no anytime you want.

Post # 5
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yikes. That’s way above and beyond.

Post # 6
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

agreed, just say no.

Post # 7
6889 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Just politely excuse yourself from it. “I can’t, I have to ________.” As long as you do it in a very honest and polite way it shouldn’t cause any issues for your relationship and friendship. It’s weird that they’re leaning on you so much when you aren’t part of the Wedding Party though..

Post # 8
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Don’t do more than you can, but also don’t not do things just because it’s not your job.  I have thrown 3 bachelorette parties in the past year and I was not in the Wedding Party for any of them.  I wasn’t even invited to one of the weddings.  I helped them all plan and make decisions and shopped online and went to fittings etc.  I did it because it needed to happen and my friends mean a lot to me.  I go to school full time and work 2 jobs and an unpaid internship–I’m broke and have no time but I made the time for this.  They were all appreciative and wonderful and I was happy to help them out.

Post # 9
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

For clarification, is it the bride asking you to do all these tasks -or- is it the WP? If it is the latter, by all means stop doing their bidding. If something fails to happen because someone in the Wedding Party who was tasked with the responsibility fails to follow through, oh well. That’s on them. But, if it’s the bride then perhaps offer to help where you can but make sure she knows that your family obligations take precedence.

The bride should recognize the time and effort you are putting forth on her behalf. It sounds like you are a good friend and hopefully she will repay you in kind when it is your turn to get married. I suppose in a way, you are setting the example that you expect from her when its her turn to help you. 

Post # 10
6734 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d say, “I’m sorry, I would love to help as much as I can, which is why I’ve helped up until now and while I wish I could help more, I really didn’t budget in that time because I didn’t think you’d need help since you already have a bridal party that is supposed to be doing this stuff for you.”

AKA – I’d help you if you had picked me to be in your bridal party, but since you have not, go ask the girls you thought fit to ask to be in your party and stop coming to me. (Only in nicer words). 

Post # 11
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@zomgwut:  you weren’t invited to the wedding?? Was it family only? 

Post # 14
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would take a step back and politely decline some things for sure. I mean, there are details and duties the Wedding Party have to do solely. Being in the Wedding Party means you have some reponsibilities.Sure, there are things you can help with but not eeeveerything!

It would be sad if things fell apart and her shower and stuff didn’t go as planned as her Wedding Party are a bunch of lazy people. Maybe she needs to see that and see how much you have been helping! 

You have a big heart. Good for you. She’s lucky to have a friend like you. She also needs to see how good of a friend you are as well. 

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