Post # 1
So. We’re planning a big wedding. Inviting 240. We’re paying for the vast majority ourselves. Since we’re having a lot of guests, we wanted to plan some other activites to get to spend more time with people. We’re inviting everyone to a Welcome Dinner the night before and my dad is cooking barbeque. We also wanted to do some sort of breakfast the day after. We had debated between hosting something under the tent that will be used for the wedding vs informally going out to a restaurant and spreading through word of mouth that people could join us, if they wanted. We decided that we would prefer to host in the backyard, so that we didn’t have to worry about ordering together and having tons of people in a potentially crowded restaurant. Our save the dates went out like this:
We didn’t want to pay for another fully catered meal, so we were considering hiring a friend who is a retired caterer to serve breakfast in Dad’s backyard, under the tent we’ll use for the wedding. However, when he gave us his quote, it was actually more than what it would cost from our caterer! In the meantime, my dad went to Golden Corral and saw a birthday party in their private room. He thought this would be a good idea for the breakfast so he contacted me. I liked the variety of food we would get at Golden Corral and that we would get a private room. I’d have to change the location on the wedsite, but that’s not a huge deal. But it’s $7.50 per person, which is more than we wanted to spend, so were still thinking about it. My dad very vocally thought that we should just have everyone pay for themselves, but I didn’t like that idea, since it was mentioned on the save the date.
Then, last week, my fiance got fired. He makes about double what I make, so this is a big hit. We’re not sure how long it will take him to get another job or if he will be able to get something in his field. So we need to cut back. But I obviously can’t change the STD now – I have to figure out what to put on the invitations this week.
As I see it I have 3 options
- Cancel the Farewell Brunch
- Have the Farewell Brunch at Golden Corral and have everyone pay for themselves – would I even mention that on the invites or just put it on the website and spread by word of mouth
- Host a basic breakfast in the backyard – pastries, toast, butter, jam, bagels, cream cheese, whole fruit, milk, OJ, coffee and water in the backyard. What we can afford and handle without hiring a caterer.
What should I do? Help me bees – you’re my only hope!!!
Post # 3
I feel like #3 is the only option. You already send the STD’s with the info, so you can’t cancel. And unfortunately #2 is out, because with wedding-related events you can’t expect guests to pay for themselves. Best of luck getting this sorted, but I think #3 is a great solution!
Post # 4
@JenGirl: I’d do the third option. It’s definetly the better way to go:)
Post # 5
#3 is your best bet. You can do #3 very inexpensively if you do the continental breakfast style. Buy bulk yogurt, milk, orange juice, bread and fruit from Costco. Enlist the help of your family in baking and setting up.
Post # 6
Third option only because on the STD is is sort of implied that you’re hosting. I don’t have an issue with paying for my own breakfast the day after a wedding so if it wasn’t on the STD, I would say all meet up at a restaurant and everyone pays for their own meal.
Post # 7
#3 Definitely. Plug in a griddle and put a couple dozen eggs in a bowl and have a DIY omelette station if you want, but keep it casual. Think Holiday Inn Express. 🙂
There are all kinds of recipies on Pinterest for overnight french toast. I’m here to tell you that shit is tasty. Also… you can make it way ahead of time and freeze it. Just pull it out the night before (or earlier if it’s cool) when you go to bed and leave it on the counter, then throw it in the oven in the morning (takes like an hour so you could do a couple rounds with a 9×13 or two in at once).
Post # 8
I have been to many morning after breakfasts where it was a kind of show up and pay your own way type of thing. I don’t think it matters what was on the save the date. The last wedding I was at, the bride and groom said, we’ll be eating tomorrow in the hotel if you anyone wants to come down and see us. So a lot of people came down, bought their own breakfast, and had some time to say goodbye to the couple. I don’t think it’s a big deal. If there is a hotel block, you could do something like that.
ETA: I really don’t think you would want to be setting up or hosting a DIY brunch the morning after your wedding.
Post # 10
#3 sounds awesome! I’d much rather have a continental breakfast in someone’s backyard than go to Golden Corral, anyway.
Post # 11
@JenGirl: i think having a simple backyard brunch would be the best idea. assorted pastries and muffins with preserves, fruit trays, yogurt, juice, coffee & tea. if it’s in your budget, i would also get heating trays and offer bacon, sausages, scrambled eggs or a frittata and maybe a tray of lasagna or some quiche.
i would also suggest that you have your guests rsvp for the brunch as well so that you know how much food you will be needing.
Post # 12
So…this brunch is only listed on the STDs? Have the invitations gone out yet?
I ask because sometimes plans do change from the time the STD and the invitations are drafted. That’s totally ok in my book.
Honestly, if you haven’t sent out the formal invitations yet, I’d just cancel the breakfast completely. I know brides who spend a lot of money designing and drafting their STDs aren’t going to want to hear this, but when I get a STD in the mail, I make note of it on my calendar on my iphone then it goes in the trash. I tend to go more so by the itinerary on the actual invitation anyway!!
Post # 13
Third option. It’ll be cheaper than hosting anywhere else, and the general consensus is when you’ve invited someone to something, you should be hosting/paying.
There are lots of easy things to do – get a bunch of bagels and pastries, fruit, juice, and coffee. If you want a warm dish or a main dish, PP’s suggestions of make-ahead things like french toast, etc. I’ve made this French toast which is easy and cheap (I do it without alcohol). You could do quiches or baked eggs – the trick would be to use things with inexpensive ingredients.
Post # 14
I think it’s sweet of you to want to host a breakfast but I think that in light of yoru new situation, it’s really ok to cancel the breakfast altogether. Most people don’t keep the STDs and I doubt anyone will remember the breakfast enough to ask about it if it doesn’t show up on the invite. However, if you still feel strongly about holding the breakfast, I agree with the PPs that #3 should work.
Post # 15
Another vote for option #3, you could probably go to Costco and load up on bagels, pastries, muffins, mini quiches, etc and only be out a few hundred dollars. Best of luck to your FI with the job hunt.
Post # 16
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@JenGirl: You could easily do #3 (cancel cable for the next 2-3 months if you have to.) You would be surprised how cheap a basic spread from Sam’s Club or BJ’s can be. Also, making a few casseroles would also be cheap and feed a bunch.
You could host it super early so people are likely to still be sleeping.