- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
* NOTE this is not about putting down the dog, that is not happening, so no comments about that. Sorry in advance for the novel.
My family has a dog that we got (about 10 years ago) as a puppy. My mother has always said it’s my dog, but I didn’t pick the dog or buy the dog (my nanny picked the breed- shihtzu- and my dad went out and bought her). I get no say in decisions about the dog and she doesn’t answer to me, so I don’t know where she’s getting that idea. Yes, I was excited to have a dog- I was 12. What did she expect?
From the beginning I tried to train this dog, but all my efforts went undone by the adults living in my house. I think training is important; they thought otherwise, and that the dog would be fine left to her own devices. She wasn’t- we were always worried about having kids around her and she had multiple other issues that I considered a problem, but my mother felt were best ignored, saying she would grow out of them.
Lo and behold, ten years later, and she is much calmer, but my mother still won’t try to discipline her. I am the only one at home with her during the day since I work from home, so I need to make sure she goes outside. I also am the one feeding her dinner most nights. I always take her out on her leash (because she sometimes runs without one, and it’s against the law here not to do so anyway) and I give her treats, but only as a reward for doing something good.
My reward for what I think is fine dog ownership? I get bitten at least twice a week on my hands and feet. She hasn’t really gone for my face yet, but I’m sure it is just a matter of time. She also goes for my FI’s feet, but he’s usually wearing shoes so he’s fine. She has claimed the mat by our kitchen door as one of her spots to hang out, so a lot of the time I get attacked for coming into or leaving the house.
My mom and her boyfriend interact with the dog by constantly rewarding her for doing nothing (she gets about 5 or 6 full sized treats from them a night), feeding her from the table, letting her run wild around the house even though she pees on the carpet (and then not disciplining her for that), and taking her out without her leash, even though my mom gets annoyed when she runs.
I think my dog is mad that I take her out on her leash, when she’d rather not be on it. Not happening, since she likes to run in the middle of the road, and isn’t afraid of cars- I don’t want her getting hit. She would be happy going a day without going outside, and then waiting for my mom to let her into the living room so she can pee on the carpet there. The house is SO GROSS from my mom putting up with this behavior. I don’t let her into my part of the house without constant supervision becasue of this. She doesn’t like people’s feel moving in front of her, which I can understand, but then why does she hang out by the door or under the table? I try to get her to go to set up camp in different places, but my mother doesn’t reinforce any of this.
Point is, my mom doesn’t think this is an issue and, since the alpha won’t do anything about it, my dog doesn’t either. I, however, am beginning to resent my mother and the dog because I am tired of constantly being attacked. I’m worried that winter is coming up and it will be uncomfotable to wear gloves because my hands are always bleeding from dog bites. I can’t just not interact with the dog because then she won’t go outside during the day, which isn’t good for anyone.
My mom also tells me all the time that I’m taking the dog when she sells the house (right now we live in my mom’s basement and do the cleaning/take care of the dog)- she also says that if we move out, we’re taking the dog because she doesn’t want her to be lonely during the day. I have told her multiple times that that is not happening, but I want her to stop bringing it up- I am not taking a dog that bites me all the time, and god forbid she’s still around when I have kids (these dogs live a long time), it would be impossible to find another home for an old dog that bites.
Is there anything I can do to get the dog to stop biting me? My mother WILL NOT change her behavior when it comes to the dog because she thinks it will make the dog and her boyfriend sad. (GUESS WHAT MOM? being in fear of our family pet makes ME sad.)
What do I do, bees?