- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
I posted about this awhile ago – see here:
If you don’t want to read the whole thing, the short story is that we are having our wedding in the Dominican Republic to accomodate my fiance’s family (he is from DR and all his family and friends still live there). We thought this would workout well, since it is a beautiful destination and my side of the family can make it into a vacation; plus, my side is smaller than FI’s so it made more sense to accomodate the larger side.
Anyway, I was really upset a few months ago because none of my friends from university are coming to the wedding. I posted about one in particular who – since I first got engaged a year and a half ago – told me she would do anything to come to my wedding and claimed she was saving and going to find a way to make it there. She lives in Paris.
Well, she told me a few months back that she couldn’t make it anymore because it was too expensive, she did not have the money, and she was so upset she couldn’t make it that to comfort herself she bought herself a trip to Bali because that was actually cheaper. WTF? How does that make any sense. Maybe Bali is a modicum cheaper than the Dominican Republic, but not by any significant amount. She also told me something along the lines like it was a long and expensive trip to the DR to barely be able to spend time with me because I would be busy with wedding plans. Which isn’t the case, we will be there for a week and the wedding is so small there will be plenty of downtime with our guests.
Obviously, I was really upset. We hadn’t talked since then (a few months back) and to be honest I was just planning to write her off completely and not consider her a friend anymore. Then she just contacted me today by e-mail acting like everything is fine, asking about my wedding plans, and raving about her recent trip to Bali.
How to I react? One idea is not to responsd. Or respond and tell her I am really hurt that she claimed to be “broke” but then can fly off to Bali for a week’s trip?
I am upset in general that none of my supposed “best friends” from college will come to my wedding, but none have even so much as sent a congratulatory card to me. Maybe we weren’t as good friends as I thought. Granted, I am almost 29 now and our closest times were almost a decade back. Maybe I thought that we were closer than we were. Anyway, how do I handle the e-mail from this supposed friend? I don’t necessarily want to write her off, but is it wrong to let her know how deeply hurt I am by her actions? I know people say that you can’t be mad at people who don’t come to their wedding, it is their choice, and if it was just, I can’t come it is too expensive, I would have gotten it, but taking an equally lavish trip instead is what really hurts.