- 9 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
Okay bees…Advice time…Sorry for the lengthy post.
My parents split up about 4 years ago after having been married for over 30 years. The short version is that my dad decided he didn’t want to be married anymore, walked out and never looked back. My parents have not seen each other since the day he left and have only communicated through email when absolutely necessary. For the most part, my mother is still a basketcase whenever the mention of my dad comes up. On the other hand, my dad had a live-in girlfriend two months after left (doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out…).
My dad and I don’t have the greatest relationship anymore either – I went from being a daddy’s girl to him pretty much ignoring me for about six months after he left and he still cancels regularly whenever we make plans. I see him about once every three months and talk to him about once a month. Believe me, I have tried to maintain a relationship with him, but I’m tired of getting hurt, so I’m kinda stopped trying. I also have never met the girlfriend, but that’s because I have absolutely no desire to meet her. My dad is not impressed with this fact and I realize it probably doesn’t help our relationship.
With the wedding coming up, this will be the first time in four years that my parents have seen each other. It’s also the first time that he’ll have to face his ‘old life’ in the form of my mom’s family and old family friends who he just cut out of his life when he left. Many of them are quite upset with him and have told him so.
The wedding is going to be weird, awkward and uncomfortable for a lot of people. I like to think that everyone will be civil to make me happy, but that’s not going to stop me from worrying all day whether anyone is going to say anything to him. I’m also very concerned about my mom and how she’s going to make it through the day. The last thing I want to do is come out of this day with hurt feelings.
My dad is now asking whether I actually want him there. He will be coming alone – The girlfriend is not invited (and he’s okay with that), but also there is no other real family, so he’ll be completely by himself. If you ask me, I think he’d rather just avoid the whole thing, but doesn’t want to hurt me if I really want him there. If I’m honest, I don’t know whether I want him there or not. The day would be WAY easier if he wasn’t there, but the thought of someone other than my dad walking down the aisle literally makes me cry. I’m considering asking him to come to the ceremony, walking me down the aisle and then giving him the option of staying for the reception or not.
What I really want is my parents back together :*( Yes, I’m 31 years old, but when it comes to my parents, I’m still a five year old who just wants mommy and daddy to play nice. :*(