(Closed) What to do about dates?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Are they inviting dates themselves or are you trying to figure out whether to invite them with dates or not.

 

I think if it’s the former, a simple, “I’m sorry, we are unable to accommodate Jane Smith.  I hope you understand.” should get the point across.

 

If you are trying to decide what to do, I’d just stick to the no ring, no bring rule!  If they aren’t engaged, they don’t get a date.  

Post # 4
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would go with +1s = married, engaged or LTR (e.g. like the waiting bees we have here that are going to get married any second). However, there are people here that stuck to the married/engaged only rule, which is less complicated and more clear cut.

If you will end up with a ton of +1s, then I would just stick to this rule and be done with it. If you are anticipating a small handful of +1s, then you can leave in wiggle room, like “If space opens up, we will let you know.” However, with this, it should be a local wedding (tough to book a ticket last minute) and it’s still all or nothing – as in you end up with room for ALL +1s or none at all.

 

Post # 5
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If they are truely single (not married, engaged, or dating anyone), then you don’t have to give them a date.  Just tell them that you cannot accomodate +1s and that you are very sorry.  You can also let them bring a date if you get some NO RSVPs.

However, I do think it’s a very nice gesture to allow your Bridal Party to bring a date.  They are standing up for you and presumably helping with your wedding in some way or another.

Post # 6
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I wouldn’t worry about this until closer to your wedding. You still have a year to go. A single Bridesmaid or Best Man today could be an engaged Bridesmaid or Best Man by the time invites go out next June.

Post # 8
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@sherryberry:  If they’re random people neither of you know, I think you are within your right to exclude them, but that’s only because of the “no ring, no bring” rule. I don’t necessarily believe in excluding a +1 just because you don’t like the guy. That’s a little awkward to justify.

HOWEVER, this is your Maid/Matron of Honor we are talking about, not just a random guest, so I think there will be drama ensuing from this, especially if she is the type that has to bring her SO everywhere. So with this in mind, you absolutely must enforce the “no ring, no bring” rule and be prepared for her to be hurt/offended/upset.

Oh, and hopefully she’s not the type that’ll just make him show up anyway the day of. I read about a few on these on WB!

Post # 9
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

In my humble opinion, even if you do not extend the option for your single guests to have a plus one (people that are married, engaged are invited as social units therefore they cannot be considered as “plus ones”) you should extend that to your wedding party. I think it’s a kind and gracious gesture to allow your bridesmaids/groomsman a guest when they contribute so much to the big day.

Post # 10
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Everyone has to make their own rule on this based on circumstances. But, you really should invite at least “social units” together (spouses, engaged couples, people living together) and it’s nice to invite any ‘serious’ couples. Defining serious is opening a can of worms though lol. You are never required to invite people with a “+1” that they are not in a relationship with. It’s a nice gesture but not required at all…that said, if you have a guest who won’t know people there (or only knows you or the bridal party), I would give a +1 because its awkward to not know anyone at a party where everyone else has a friend or lover.

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