Post # 1
I am hoping you can help me with an etiquette question. My aunt, who I do not know well at all because she has lived on the other side of the world my entire life, told me a few months ago that she was not going to be able to attend my wedding this summer. She knows the wedding is in July and that the bridal shower will likely be in May or June, but no invitations for either event have gone out yet. I just got an email message from one of my registries telling me that she has purchased several of my registry gifts (which add up to a VERY generous gift) online and they are now ready for me to pick up. I have no idea if these gifts were meant for the shower or the wedding or when I should thank her. Should I email her to say thank you now and then later send a formal thank you card when I send out the rest of my thank you cards? Or should I not email and only acknowledge the gift in my thank you card? And should I send her a thank you card for the shower or the wedding? Or both?!
Thanks for any advice!
Post # 3
When I was in this situation, I just sent the thank-you card immediately. For one thing, it gets one out of the way so you don’t have to worry about it when you have 100 to write. For another, I feel like if people send you a present, they don’t mind if you open in right away.
Post # 4
Not sure if I completely understand. Just send a basic thank you note right now thanking her for the gifts.
Post # 5
Send a Thank You card now.
If she attends the shower/wedding you can send another thank you card with those batches.
Post # 6
I would send a formal thank you card now.
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
I sent a thank you email and followed up with a thank you card. I thanked immediately so that the giver knew I received the gift– not knowing is the worst!
Post # 8
Ok, sounds like I should just send a thank you card now. I hadn’t thought of that (I was wondering if I should wait to go and pick the gifts up until closer to the shower/wedding), but now it seems so obvious. Haha. I don’t have my thank you cards yet, but I guess I can go out and buy a single thank you card and she will never know that it is different from the standard thank you cards that I will end up sending to the rest of my guests. Thanks for the advice!
Post # 9
Agree with the PPs. I’ve just been dropping TYs in the mail as gifts or checks come in (and cashing them promptly so I don’t mess w/ people’s balances). If she comes to the showers/events, you can always send a follow up Thank You, but I’d get them out right away.
PS- I found that it’s helpful, especially w/ these early gifts, to have a little spreadsheet with the person’s name, the gift, when you recieved it, when you wrote/sent a thank you, and if/when you cashed check gifts.
ETA- Yeah, we have ‘wedding TYs’ but for these extra early gifts, we just got a 50 pack of the cuter but reasonable cards at Target.
Post # 10
Sent the handwritten thank you note immediately.
Never email thank you’s.
Does it really matter if they were intended for the shower or the wedding?
I’d take the gifts to my shower to display them, By The Way.
Post # 11
Send a formal, handwritten thank-you as soon as possible.
Any gifts that we received before the wedding got a cute thank-you card; all gifts received at the wedding and after got our wedding-photo thank-you card.
Post # 12
@Lorelei: I didn’t mean to insinuate that I was only going to send an email thank you. My aunt lives half way around the world and it will likely take the thank you card a while to get to her. I was just thinking of sending a quick thank you email informally to let her know I received the gifts. This obviously would have been followed by a formal, handwritten thank you note. But it seems like the majority think I should just send the written thank you note, without sending an email first, so that is what I will do.
Post # 13
I am glad to see this post because, without it, I think I would have made an etiquette faux-pas – I haven’t received any early gifts yet but, like the OP, I am registered at a store that allows online gift purchases. I have several Out of Town guests that will likely use this option and I was planning to wait until right before/after the relevant wedding event (e.g., shower, wedding day) to pick gifts up if they were purchased early. I just figured it was bad etiquette to pick up and open a gift before it’s intended event. I guess it is the opposite though and it is in poor taste to not thank someone immediatelly!
Post # 14
That’s so sweet of her…send her a personal e mail thank you now or soemthing and a formal thank you card later on.
Post # 15
@Calla85: I didn’t have to physically pick up any of my gifts — they were all delivered. But I think the same idea still applies. 🙂
Post # 16
I would send a paper thank you immediately. It’s easier to get it done now because they will pile up later and you might forget!