Post # 1
My fiance and I are getting married on a Sunday. We both have family who live out of town, and a lot of them are coming down the Friday before the wedding. I went out to lunch with FI’s mom earlier this week, and she told me that my fiance’s side of the family is having a cookout that Friday night. That will be the one free night before the wedding, since Saturday is the rehearsal dinner and Sunday is the wedding. She asked me if I would like to come. I told her that my family would be in town, so I might be doing something with them or doing last minute wedding preparations. All she said was, “I know you’ll probably be busy that weekend but thought I would ask.”
After lunch, I started thinking about her family get-together. She never invited my side of the family to come over, only me. I don’t think it’s fair of her to ask me to leave my family (some of whom I haven’t seen in years) to hang out with hers. She hasn’t told my fiance about the cookout yet, but I assume she will invite him to attend. This brings up a problem for my fiance and I. We would like to be together the weekend of our wedding, but her cookout makes that difficult. I don’t think it’s fair for us to have to choose one family over the other to see that night. What would you bees do in this situation?
Post # 3
I would make an appearance at both families’ gatherings. Welcome to holidays. 🙂 I don’t know that she meant to be rude. It might be due to expenses, or not wanting to plan something that rivals your rehearsal dinner or wedding.
Post # 4
@Americano: I could try to see both families that night, but they will be at opposite ends of town. Plus, I know how when you’re with family they never want to let you go. Hopefully, it will all work out.
Post # 5
I’m sure it will! 🙂 Besides, when you leave you’ll easily be able to say, “See you soon!” and everyone will know you mean in a day or two! 🙂
Post # 6
You could just talk to your Fiance and explain about your fam. Maybe suggest that both families meet and get together before the wedding. That way people wont be saying who is that guy? or what family is she from? make sense? We are doing a mixer BBQ the frday before the wedding for everyone to come. This they won’t think uncle Bob is staring at them, they will know he has a lazy eye lol.
Post # 7
It would be really polite for you and your Fiance to attend both events. She didn’t invite your side of the family because she isn’t planning an event for your wedding. She’s planning a cookout for her family and invited you as her son’s fiancée.
My dad, FH’s dad, and my mom live in an awesome triangle about 20miles apart from each other. We see all of them on holidays. It isn’t fun to do all of that driving and all of the strange compromise (appetizers at one house, dinner at another, dessert at another), but it means a lot to everyone to see us.