Post # 1
I need suggestions please! There’s a group of 9 of us who have been friends since grade school. I choose 6 of them to be in my bridal party and the remaining two to read during the ceremony. One of the ceremony readers is seriously offended that she’s not a bridesmaid and she’s complaining to everyone but me. Two of my bridesmaids finally told me because they felt awkward and like they were stuck in the middle.
I didn’t choose this person to be a bridesmaid because she’s flakey and unreliable. I’m on a tight budget and need reliable bridesmaids who can help me pull off this DIY wedding. I sent her an email and all she responded with was “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.” That wasn’t convincing and I want to confront her but want to be sensitive to her feelings. She is, afterall, still one of my good friends and I dont want there to be tension at the upcoming pre-wedding events. Please help!
Post # 3
I would suggest meeting for coffee and talking in person, good luck!
Post # 4
I agree, I don’t think this is an email type conversation. Good luck OP
Post # 5
If she’s flaky and unreliable, I would emphasize heavily how many obligations and commitments are involved in being a bridesmaid, and then say something like “I know you’re often so busy and your life is a little unpredictable, so I didn’t want you to feel guilty when you couldn’t make it to all these plans.” Obviously phrase it however makes the most sense to you, but I think that might be an approach that’s both honest and kind. And like PPs have said, in person.
Post # 6
how about pointing out that her trash talking is really just proving that she’s not bride’s maid material?
Post # 7
All great suggestions… Thanks! That helps to get me started.