Post # 1
I’m planning my own bachelorette party – 14 people including men (they are some of my closest friends). I’m also paying for everyone to participate, which includes airfare, lodging, food, activities, etc.. It’s costly, but I figure it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to treat my friends for their amazing friendship and for all of us to be together.
Some women have invited themselves a long the way by offering to plan a party for me, but I’ve managed to wrangle myself out of most of them. I did end up inviting one woman that I normally wouldn’t have because she said she was inviting me to her’s. I figured, what the heck, she’s a nice person and she’ll be a fun addition.
I have a wonderful friend that just asked me if she could plan my bachelorette party for me or throw me a shower. She doesn’t know that I’ve already planned and invited people to a bachelorette. She’s a good friend, but I want to keep the group from ballooning as it’s already large and it would be additional cost of me.
Any advise on how to respond would be much appreciated.
Post # 2
Are you having a bridal party? I find it really odd that people you don’t consider to close enough to invite to your bachelorette are trying to invite themselves or throw you a separate shower. I would just keep the party hush-hush and tell her it’s not necessary to do anything on your account.
Post # 3
Wow, you must be spending A LOT of money.
This is a hard one. If you have 14 of your closest already invited then does this mean she isnt too close and is more a lovely friend. That or you just have a tonne of close friends.
If she is as close as the others, might be worth thinking about her being the last one you invited. Otherwise just be honest and say you have planned it and as you are covering it unfortauntely you could only have a certain number of people?
ETA – I read it wrong, you said wonderful friend not close haha My bad. She will probably find out about your bachelorette party on FB or through other friends so whatever you do just dont lie to her. haha Agree with PP, just say thank you but she doesnt need to and you feel very honored
Post # 4
cosimaskye : veganica :
Thanks for the advice ladies. I don’t have a bridal party (I’m not having a wedding ceremony, just a reception).
Anyway – I just told her I secured a venue and to save the date for the reception and as for bachelorette, I wasn’t thinking about it. Funny enough, she texted another friend and said “she’s so low key. let’s throw her a surprise bachelorette/shower”. ugh, I feel bad… Will figure out what to do tomorrow.
I think people like the idea of having a reason to celebrate – it just makes it really awkward sometimes when they bring things up on their own. My unsolicated advice to people is unless you are sure you would be invited to a Bachelorette or you are distant enough – don’t bring it up!
I had another friend (she is invited to the bach), group text a bunch of people we went to school with and ask when the bach was. I texted her separately and said she was the only one i was planning on inviting if I had one. smh…
Post # 5
Hmmm I probably would have made it a bit easier on myself by arranging a “holiday of appriciation” for my close friends and then had a hen do with all that wanted to join. Sounds like a lovely thing to do for your close friends but potentially upsetting for other friends.
Post # 6
Having someone else deal with the guest list is a good idea.
My fiance is actually coming along as well since there are men coming and he’s not having a bachelor with his friends. I think I’ll spin it to those not invited as a getaway for friends of both me and Fiance. People won’t know who is actually friends with him and who isn’t.
Post # 7
if it’s mixed then that would take the sting out of it for uninvited ladies