(Closed) What to do about guests who didn’t give gifts?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 61
621 posts
Busy bee

I haven’t read the whole thread, but instead of thanking them for coming, just write that you are happy that they wanted to share the special day with you. Since, as some of the bees wroted, you don’t thank people for coming to your event. 🙂

Post # 62
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Most people gave gifts. I started a registry but forgot or was too overwhelmed to update it. I literally had only 2 items on my registry. Most people gave $ but my close friends all gave meaningful gifts which is so much more appreciated than anything I could put on registry. In fact Im happy to have those gifts than registry. There were 3 people that didn’t give gifts but I know they paid a lot of $ to attend ie 2 night hotel and driving 4-5 hours and their presence meant a lot to me. they have been incredibly generous in the past. I think it was an oversight. My sister I insisted she didnt give a gift. I know her financial situation and having her there with the kids and 2 days of flying due to blizzard was more than I could ask for. another couple is so beloved to us. I dont know their financial situation but they are amazing and so wonderful that I imagin there is a good reason. the 3rd person…well im not sure but i think they forgot and will be sending something bc she asked me for my address. 

Post # 63
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

You should just send them a generic thank you card, since they did come and spend the time there.

We’re in a situation where my Future Mother-In-Law never gave a card or anything to her other sons for their engagements, wedding….nothing, and never lifted a finger for any parties in between. So we’re expecting the same. When it comes to thank you cards, we’re sending the generic “thank you for attending and sharing in our moment” card, and calling it a day. Same for any other guests that don’t gift anything. 

Post # 64
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
dkzelda:  You dont need to send anything to guests who didnt come with a gift. Your reception was to thank them for attending. A “thanks for coming” note can be interpreted as a passive aggressive call out. Ettiquette is clear- thank you notes are for gifts. So dont even bother.

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