(Closed) What to do about my dad (mini vent) please help!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

As far as I’m concerned, you don’t owe your stepdad an explanation as to why you want to walk down the aisle by yourself.  Just tell him that’s what you decided and you don’t have any intention of changing your mind.  If he gets mad, he gets mad.  That’s on him, not you.

Post # 4
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah, you don’t owe a man who verbally abused you for years ANYTHING. I’m so sorry you went through that, and I’m equally sorry that your mother couldn’t see what was happening and stand up for you. There might be a little fall-out from telling them, but it’s your day and your choice. One thing you could do that other Bees have done is to meet your Fiance halfway and complete the walk together. If he likes the idea, when you tell your mom/stepdad, you can tell them this is what you plan to do because it’s symbolic for the two of you joining your lives together. That might help soften the blow, so to speak.

Post # 7
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I do not believe in bending over backwards for people who wouldn’t do the same for you and or would not appreciate your effort. 

That’s as nicely as I can say that I would refuse to explain myself to someone I owe nothing to.  If he doesn’t like it, he can get bent. 

And I certainly would NOT start my wedding ceremony off by walking down the isle with someone who makes me feel badly or have a negative history with.  This is the happiest day of your life, the moment you’re getting married, the moment your husband is going to see you for the first time, the last second of your old life, the first second of your new life…and I wouldn’t want it tainted by anyone.

Also, please please please please remember that you cannot control anyone but yourself.  So even if making the RIGHT decision for yourself-you may have people who are going to be upset with you.  That’s their choice.  If it causes a rift, they are the people who are CHOOSING to cause a rift with you.  Remember that a rift can happen going along with what they want, too.

Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My stepdad was soooo controlling when I was a teenager and although we have a great relationship now I can never forget. I know that he would be so hurt if I didn’t have him walk me so I’ve asked both my parents to walk me -and little do they know but i’d like my mom to walk with me and he join when I’m half way to represent he joined our lives later.

Good luck ! 

Post # 10
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@kayberry:  I don’t blame your Boyfriend or Best Friend for not doing anything to placate him.  There comes a point where you just kind of give up b/c you know it’s not doing any good.  No sense in him stressing about it anymore, you know?  So good for him!  🙂

Post # 11
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

You’ve gotten great advice regarding your stepdad, but I wanted to add that my parents are 13 years apart! I’m in my 20s and they are still happily married, despite the age difference. 

Post # 12
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Walk alone if you want. Or have your mom walk you down the aisle. In my case, I’m going to have my mom AND dad walk me down the aisle.

 

You don’t owe your step father anything.

Post # 13
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

How about asking Mom to walk you down the aisle?

Post # 13
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

How about asking Mom to walk you down the aisle?

Post # 13
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

How about asking Mom to walk you down the aisle?

Post # 13
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

How about asking Mom to walk you down the aisle?

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