(Closed) What To Do About My Grandmother?

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: How would you handle the travel situation with my Grandmother?
    Pay for her ticket and get over not having spending money for the honeymoon : (15 votes)
    31 %
    Decline to pay her ticket and tell her you will send her a dvd of the wedding : (20 votes)
    41 %
    Other solution - please comment below : (14 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    258 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    What happened?? Did your mom just straight forget to ask your brother??  That bites, sweetie.  I don’t know how close you are to your grandmother, but is it okay with you if she’s not there?  Like, will you regret it afterward?  Especially knowing how excited she was to go?

    Since your mom appears to be the point of miscommunication, maybe she can put up a little bit of money, you can give a little bit and maybe if your grandma has a little bit of money, you can come up with enough for a plane ticket?  Just gently explain how you only have a little bit of money available for a ticket and you need help paying the rest, hopefully mom/grandma will understand?  Especially if you’re paying for your wedding all on your own, I don’t see how $100 from each party would be thaaat bad.  Who knows, maybe your grandma would happily pay her own way if you only asked? 

    Post # 4
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I voted for the first option, but only because I think you’d regret it later. I think there should be some sort of compromise. It is basically your mom’s “fault” that you’re in this predicament so I agree with PP that she should maybe put up half for that. I think that, as the youngest person in this equation, you shouldn’t be expected to fund everybody’s trip to your wedding. That’s not even something I’d consider and you’re really nice for even trying to!

    On the plus side….maybe you’ll get cash for wedding gifts – aka spending money?

    Post # 5
    Member
    46612 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Do you and your family members have points, miles etc that you can amalgamate to get your  grandmother to the wedding?

    There are websites where you can exchange and amalgamate all sorts of travel and credit card miles and points.

    http://www.points.com

    Post # 6
    Member
    140 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Have you already booked your flight and things for the honeymoon.  My grandpa talks all the time about free rewards cards that you can get from just about any airline and cruise.  Look into that and see if that could be an option.

    Also, is there any reason another family member couldn’t make the trip to pick her up? I know you said it’s an 11 hour drive and I know that’s far but that could be an option.

    Another option is could your brother rent a van to come down in? I don’t know what car he is driving down, but maybe talk to your mom about going in on something like that.  An 11 hour drive is a long time and it may be more comfortable for everyone.  See who all he is bringing and see if everyone (including passangers already going, your grandmother, and mother, and maybe you) could pitch in for rental and gas. Depending on how many people are coming they may only need a mini van, and you can check out discounts for that.

    I hope this helps!  Keep us posted!

     

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    139 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I would speak with your mother and explain you are content with paying for your wedding costs/honeymoon etc, and was willing to pay hotel fees for Grandma but not her flight out. To your knowledge, you thought transportation was taken care of and this is just too much and overwhelming. Ask if she would be willing to cover the cost of her ticket and you still pay for her lodging or vice versa. Just let her know a little assistance would be greatly appreciated.

    Post # 8
    Member
    5095 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If your mom is the one who dropped the ball on this, I think she should pay. Is there any reason why she can’t? I don’t think your grandma should be the one punished for the mistake, since it wasn’t her fault.  

    Barring that, I think Beth2010 has a great idea if your brother would be willing to rent a bigger vehicle.

    Post # 9
    Member
    646 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’m also confused as to how YOU are the one who is supposed to be paying from Grandma’s travel expenses. Doesn’t grandma pay for grandma’s expenses? That’s the strangest thing I’ve heard lately.

    Anyway, I did vote that you should just pay for her flight. It’s not worth the possibly regret and the probable guilt trip that you’re going to get if you don’t pay for it, since apparently it’s somehow your responsibility to get her there. (So weird!)

    I say return whatever dress you had gotten her and replace it with something VERY affordable. And put her in your mom’s hotel room. 🙂 ha.

    Post # 11
    Member
    785 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    This seems like it’s kind of a combination of your mom, your brother, and your grandmother’s fault.  I feel like your grandmother should get to attend your wedding, but I don’t see why it has to be on your dollar.  Why not express the situation to your mom, and ask if she wouldn’t mind paying (or helping to pay) for your grandmother’s flight?  Since she neglected to tell your brother he was driving her down, I feel like it’s on her to find another mode of transportation for your grandmother–since apparently she can’t manage to fly herself down there with her own money, which I really don’t get.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5095 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @FutureMrs.M: Wow. That is really lousy of your mom. How frustrating! Mad props to you for keeping your cool about the situation.

    Post # 13
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @FutureMrs.M: Whoa. I take it this isn’t her mother? Or am I wrong? Just wow. If my mom pulled a move like this, I would not have handled it as nicely as you seem to have. I think this is ridiculous of both your mother and your brother. It’s as if they don’t care if grandma is there for your wedding. :/ I agree try for mileage, and good deals. Shop around. And good luck.

    Post # 15
    Member
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I wouldn’t pay for her to come on such short notice.  Maybe the bees could start a pool (I’m only 90% kidding.)  

    My dads parents can’t come because Grandpa has taken to using houseplants as toilets.  I envy you a straight up logistics problem.

    Post # 16
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @FutureMrs.M: Oh goodness. Well I guess it comes down to finding a way to get her here as cheaply as possible. Does she know your mom doesn’t care if she comes? :/ Yikes.

    The topic ‘What To Do About My Grandmother?’ is closed to new replies.

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