(Closed) what to do about niece who is a bridesmaid

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You have a right to be pissed yes, say something no.  A person’s hair is their choice not yours. If your niece likes it, that is all that matters. Besides from your time line your wedding isnt until June, who knows by then she may want it back to a differ color or back to what she had.

Post # 4
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@asianyoushi:  What to do? Tell your niece she is beautiful, and from now on, ask more questions before agreeing to something, especially something related to your sister and your wedding day.

Post # 5
Member
46657 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

She’s 15. That’s the risk you took. Was your choice of her as Bridesmaid or Best Man based on her haircolor or the close relationship you have?

There are also 3 .5 months before your wedding. Things can change.

Post # 7
Member
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.

I have dyed my hair blue in the past and that color fades faster than any other. Even if she leaves it alone, chances are it will look blond-ish green (not that greenish blong is great but it will just look like she spends a lot of time in the pool) by June.

Also, if she keeps the color crazy, black and white pictures will hide it in group shots.

Try not to stress yourself out! like PP have said you’ve got time. And lots of other things to worry about, I’m sure! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think your family sounds very upset over how you handled this. Is a picture perfect wedding really worth more than family relationships?

Post # 12
Member
2715 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry, but I don’t think you have any right to be upset and you most certainly should not have said anything or asked if your niece if she really wanted to be in the wedding.  Nor do I think anyone is jealous.  You asked her to stand up next to you because you love her and she’s family – not because of how she looks.  She has every right to style her hair how she wants and doesn’t need to take your wedding vision into account.

What you need to do now is call everyone up and apologize profusely.  Say you are very sorry and that you got wrapped up in all the wedding hype (which can happen to even the best of us) and that of course family means more to you than your vision.  Reassure your niece that you do want her in the wedding.

Post # 13
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree with PPs. Blue will fade quickly. You didn’t ask her because she was a pretty little conformist, you asked because you wanted her to stand with you. And I agree with what RunsWithBears said. 

Don’t choose people because of what they look like. If you want your girls to look bridal mag perfect, hire models.

Post # 14
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Dont worry I agree with you being upset. I am not sure on how you told your neice you were mad that all your family is mad at YOU. As for yelling at your sister I compeltely understand. My sister is 24 years old and  she is grown enough to . thinks your sister is acting childlish.  If your neice did not have BLUE HAIR when you asked her she should’ve asked and understand why you are upset. I understand you didnt ask your brides maids based on how they look, but its simply respect.  Would your sister wear Blue hair to a job interview??? There is always a place and time for everything.  A Wedding, if it isnt yours, you have no business making it your own show. 

I do think you could of cooled off and just asked your neice to please understand that for the wedding you would like her to dye her hair back to more of a natural color or less dramtic.  (then maybe a few weeks before the wedding she still hasn’t, then you have every right to start blowing up)   Your sister might of thought it was a joke and thought you would be mad but  wouldnt of said anything. and since you did, they are trying to turn the tables on you and if she had a bf or if she is lucky enough to get married she will have a chance to see what it means to have months of planning and 1000s of dollars put into your wedding for your love ones not to have a just a the slightest bit of respect to hold back on such dramatic makeovers.  and going to blonde from brown is dramatic, and is understandable but BLUE!!  

You girls are sisters,  I yell at mine and we argue but it wouldn’t be the end of our relationship nor would she back out of my wedding.  and as for hiring models come on!!…lets see how that lady would feel if one of her bridesmaids got a tattoo across her forehead right before her wedding day! pretty extreme example but its all opinion and respect. If the blue was there when u asked then u dont have a right to be mad, but she didnt.  I dont think ONE day of someones life is much to ask. good luck!

Post # 16
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it’s a bit much to ask your 15 year old neice to plan her hair around your wedding that’s several months away.

She’s not going to be in every single photo, so for the ones she’s in, get them printed in black and white, or have the blue photoshoped out.

 

 

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