Post # 1
I’ll try to make this short. My brother is two years younger than me (he is 22). He is dating a girl the same age with a 3 year old son. A close co-worker of mine is involved with the son’s dad’s family. This weekend, she overheard a conversation and my brother’s girlfriend’s IUD (birth control) was removed and they know because the bill got sent to the dad’s house (whether it was by accident or not, I don’t know).
I don’t know if my brother knows or not. I have no clue how to bring it up to him. I really feel I need to. Maybe it’s not my business, but my brother is graduating college next month and has a 70K job offer, and I’ll be damned if she is trying to get pregnant to “keep” him. Granted, I know they’ve talked about having kids relatively soon, but they aren’t even engaged yet!!
What would you do?
Post # 4
I would stay out of it. Honestly, as much as you want to say something it is not your place at all. It would be different if you had heard from the girlfriend’s mouth that her IUD was removed, but you heard it through the grapevine. Nothing good can come out of you getting involved. This is something that they should be discussing as a couple. For all you know, she may have told him!
Post # 5
well I’m all for honesty, I would just tell him about the conversation you overhead and if he knew about it. Then again, I know not everyone is as blunt as me.
You could also ask him casually about their plans to have kids and maybe that would segway into a chance to talk to him about it?
Either way, I think you need to try to tell him. Cause that would suck if she was trying to get pregnant without him knowing
Post # 6
Can you bring it up to her? Ask her about her IUD-say you have a friend who is considering one? Then confirm that she got in removed.
Post # 7
I would also stay out of it. You don’t know that she didn’t just opt for another type of birth control in place of her IUD, and it’s their relationship – so it shouldn’t involve you in any way.
Post # 9
Maybe I will be in the minority here but I would find a way to tell him. Maybe telling my Mom and let her figure out a way to tell him (passing the buck, lol). Not sure. But, I would consider it my business because my brother is family, his girlfriend is not.
Post # 10
I know you **should** stay out of it…but I’d probably say something.
I might bring it up like this “Hey – i know this is pretty random…i heard through the grapevine that XXXX had an IUD. I’ve been curious about those! Do you think she’d be open to me asking her questions about it? I’ve heard insertion is mega painful, i wonder if the extraction was just as bad?!”
I had a 2 yr old IUD recently removed due to issues I’ve had with it and changed to the ring. She may have no ill intentions…but you never know.
Post # 11
I’d probably stay out of it…OR mention it slyly like some of the PP have said.
But you don’t know the real reason she got it out. It could have been health complications or she had a bad reaction to it. OR perhaps, they want to start having kids early and it’s something they’ve discussed.
Post # 12
I don’t think it’s any of your business – I would stay out of it!
Post # 13
The right thing to do is stay out of it BUT if it was my brother I would find a way for him to find out
Post # 14
I would tell your brother, or figure out a way to bring it up gently. I mean hey, maybe he already knows? I just think that when push comes to shove he is your brother and you have to be in his corner – if he doesn’t know he will probably be glad that you told him.
Post # 15
I agree that the right thing to do is to stay out of it, but I would still tell him. Just say you overheard the conversation and didn’t feel right keeping quiet about it, just in case. He can do what he wants with the info, but at least he has the information he needs to make an informed decision at that point, or to start asking questions. Heck he might then confess to you that they’ve been intentionally trying to conceive, you never know. But ultimately if it were my brother I’d tell him.
Post # 16
I’m really blunt with my brother so I would probably say it as a joke like “I heard your gf got her IUD out… if you guys are planning a baby I call dibs on being godmother” or something corny.
But it all depends on what kind of relationship you guys have.