(Closed) What to do? Food & Guest problem [Help ASAP :(]

posted 5 years ago in Food
Post # 31
2268 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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petitsummerbride:  I have no idea why this is even a question. You’re hosting an event at a restaurant. If the restaurant can make lasagna with meat, they certainly have all of the ingredients to make a veggie lasagna.

Also, while it is not ideal that guests sometimes do not RSVP by the deadline given on the card, it is your responsibility as a hostess to follow up with guests to see if they are coming.

I am not sure how you could plan an event for so many people without taking into account dietary restrictions. It is basic good manners to serve a suitable meal to your guests.

Please do not even think of asking a guest to pay for their own meal. You wouldn’t invite 5 meat-eating friends and 1 vegetarian friend to your home and after the meal, tell your vegetarian friend they needed to reimburse you for the groceries, would you? Hosting a wedding reception is no different than the hospitality you would offer in your home. It would be exceptionally rude (and remembered by other guests) if you were to ask a guest to pay for their own meal at your reception.

Post # 32
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

You really should have asked for dietary restrictions on the RSVP and being bitchy about how she gave you the information unsolicited is pretty tacky. It’s pretty rude to not accommodate dietary restrictions, and making her pay for her own food at your wedding is not the way to go. 

Post # 33
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

For the record, I didn’t ask about dietary restrictions on my RSVP card. We are doing a chicken, pasta, salad, and sides. I am aware of vegetarian friends so I planned accordingly. My Fiance has a shellfish allergy, so we arent serving any fish products (unless you count Ceasar dessing). 

I agree with the others, except I won’t bash you like they are. Call your venue, explain you have one vegeatrian diner and ask if they can serve her a simple pasta dish. It shouldn’t be a big deal at all.

Post # 34
1307 posts
Bumble bee

Vegetarian is pretty standard these days.  You are obligated to pay.

I thought it was pretty common practice to have a veggie option.  We are doing station style and I purposefully tried to make enough of my menu veggie friendly (half my apps in cocktail hour and several stations can be made veggie) since I know it is the preference of many.  

Post # 35
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016


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j_jaye:  Very well said.  I 100% agree with you.

Post # 36
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

It would be very rude to tell her that she has to pay for her own dish. She is taking the time to celebrate your marriage and probably bringing a wedding gift too. Just tell the restaurant about your guest’s preferences and ask if they could make something besides the lasagna. You or your parents should cover the costs. I’m also surprised that you’re not offering any choices for dinner, usually you’re given at least 2 entree choices at a wedding. And the ceviche appetizer isn’t very universal, I’m willing to bet there you’re going to have guests who will refuse to eat it.

Post # 37
4241 posts
Honey bee

How rude of you. And for the record, I’m not a vegetarian but I couldn’t eat most of your menu. I don’t think it’s out of line to expect that when you go to a wedding that is serving a meal, you’ll be able to eat said meal- I can’t believe you would actually make her buy her own dinner.

Post # 38
5153 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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petitsummerbride:  Call the venue, tell them you have a vegetarian you werent aware of, and I am 110% sure they will be able to accomodate you. 

“Not fair to other guests”??? Um – WHAT? If someone had a gluten or dairy allergy – would you insist they eat the lasagna? This makes no sense. 

Post # 39
9724 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Call your venue and ask. A vegetarian dish is a VERY common request and certainly not “unfair” to the rest of your guests. It’s extremely tacky to expect her to pay for her own meal.

And at least she told you in advance. I had my Mother-In-Law freaking out the day before our wedding because some relative of hers could only eat foods with the consistency of baby food…

Did you tell people what the menu was? Pregnant guests probably won’t eat the ceviche.

Post # 40
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida


petitsummerbride:  I’m actually surprised you haven’t had many other guest food accommodation requests. We had 5 Gluten Free, 2 vegan and 5 vegetarian dinners all made with no additional cost to me(they actually gave me a discount on the dinners because of the food items they were swapping out). The caterer just swapped out what was needed to accommodate the guest and they got almost the same dinner as everyone else.

If I were your guest I would not be able to eat your dinner at all as I do not react well to Pasta and I have a severe seafood allergy. I find it strange your venue/restaurant is only giving 1 dinner option I have hosted many dinners/ meeting at restaurants for work and you typically have 2 or more choices for an entrée There is always Beef and Chicken option because Some people do not eat beef or pork for religious beliefs.  

Asking your guest to pick something else off the menu but Oh wait you need to pay for it is downright rude. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since you have seen them or what their relationship to you is, if a guest needs a special accommodation for their meal you be the gracious host you are and you get them a dinner they can eat. 

Post # 41
271 posts
Helper bee

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petitsummerbride:  This is probably one of the rudest things I’ve ever read on Weddingbee. First of all, serving ALL your guests the exact same entree? Umm, ok.. Second of all, getting pissy because one guest can’t have meat? You’re being extremely unreasonable and I would actually not even want to attend your wedding if I was that guest, seeing as how you’re treating her. 

You’re the host, you need to accomodate your guests dietary needs and not act like she should just suck it up and eat the ONE thing that’s available. 

Also, even mentioning that she would need to pay for her own dish? That’s disgusting of you.

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