Post # 1
I need Help Bees!
When I picked my BM’s and Maid/Matron of Honor I chose my two bestfriends and my sister. My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor I only have one sister & I couldn’t choose between my besties but now I feel I should have Chosen one of my best friends instead.
My sister isn’t a huge believer in marriage and is 18 so hasn’t really gotten into it, like organising hens night and bridal shower etc, she doesn’t work so doesn’t have any money to help organise things, she just seems to be going with whatever happens.
Instead one of my BM’s has been doing everything! Even going out of her way for me just so everything can be perfect. I feel she is doing everything a Maid/Matron of Honor should and I am kind of having regrets about asking my sister. I don’t even think my sis wants to make a speech. I feel horrible even reconsidering my little sister because I love her sooo much and she is the only one I have!
I don’t really know how to bring it up with her to see how she feels and what she wants because I don’t want to upset her…
What should I do?!
Post # 3
Well, she’s probably unaware of the responsibilities. She also isn’t of the legal drinking age to organize a big bachelorette thing (I assume by saying hen’s night, you’re in Canada…isn’t the drinking age 19 there? or is it 18?). You admit she doesn’t have the financial ability to undertake all of this.
I think you should probably ignore it, unless the Bridesmaid or Best Man says something to you about it. I’d definitely get an extra special thank you gift for the Bridesmaid or Best Man who did all the work, but I don’t think making a big deal out of it is going to fix anything. It’s gong to make her feel bad, but not change her age or financial situation.
Ask her if she’s comfortable making a speech, and if she isn’t you could ask the other Bridesmaid or Best Man. Or heck, you could have them all make speeches!
Post # 4
@abbie017: I am in Australia so my sister is of legal drinking age and I know she doesn’t have a job but that is from choice she is being lazy and doesn’t want to work. I have explained the responsibilities but she just isn’t super interested I dont’t think. I would just love for her to be a little more interested in what is happening.She keeps telling me she doesn’t want to do a speech but then says she does I am just confused!
Thanks I think maybe I should just ignore it I might just be overthinking everything…
I overthink things alot…
Post # 5
Just let it go- as long as the group as a whole is taking care of planning the hens night etc, and will be there at the wedding I don’t think its a big deal. I had my 16 year old niece as my “MOH” and my sisters and Bridesmaid or Best Man, but my sister obviously planned my shower etc. As long as everyone is happy and enjoying the wedding planning process, don’t get hung up on who has what titile.
As for the toast- if shes younger she may not be comfortable speaking in front of all those guests, especially giving a toast she has to come up with. You might see is she’d be happier announcing you and Fiance when you enter the reception, or something similiar and ask one of the Bridesmaid or Best Man to take care of the toast. With the age issue I don’t think anyone would find it strange if she doesn’t give a toast.
Post # 6
@nikkialys: I think you are right you are both right. I just can’t help but overthink sometimes thanks for the advice