(Closed) What to do if I REALLY dislike my brother's gf?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You don’t have to have her be a bridesmaid. You should invite her if she is still dating your brother when invitations go out.

Post # 4
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It can be so hard to see someone we care about be so darn stupid in the love department. Obviously you see that she’s a bitch and treats him horribly but even if you bring it to his attention then you’re the “bad guy”. As hard as it might be try to be the bigger person, better than her and not stoop to her playing level and be so sweet to her it’s sickening. Try that and see how that plays out.

As far as your wedding goes, you have 5 months … maybe by then your brother might have wised up and kicked her to the curb and has a beautiful charming girlfriend that treats him like a king!!!!

Post # 6
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Mrs_powerz:  I know you care about your brother but that is his issues and his relationship. I suggest, staying out of it. 

Post # 7
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Mrs_powerz:  She absolutely does NOT have to be in your wedding.  That would be a ridiculous request, if your brother actually asked.

As far as tolerating her… that’s really all you can do.  TOLERATE.  Your brother is an adult and he can handle her how he sees fit.  If she treats him poorly, it’s his responsibility to talk to her about it.  Not yours.  I know it’s hard to see people you love get hurt or disrespected.  But unfortunately there’s not much you can do.

Post # 8
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Mrs_powerz:  And the being so painfully sweet, it’s the hardest thing to me right now

And you don’t have to be “painfully sweet”… you don’t have to kill her with kindness.  Just be civil, say hello, then excuse yourself.  You don’t have to engage with someone you don’t like just because she’s dating your brother.  You need exit strategies!!  If you are speaking with her and she’s starting to piss you off, wait for a break and say “Oh, excuse me, I have to do…..”

 

Post # 9
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

The good news is, most of the time people don’t marry the person they’re dating at 20, so you can probably wait for her or your brother to get sick of the other person and they’ll break up.

Post # 10
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@Mrs_powerz:  We did not include any boyfriends or girlfriends of our siblings in our wedding. In fact, my brother-in-law wasn’t in the wedding, simply because we wanted to keep our bridal party small.

Do what you want. They’re only dating. There is no “rule” or expectation that she is included.

Post # 11
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Unless she is harming your brother in any way I think you just got to suck it up. I feel like hit would be inappropriate for you not to invite her if your brother wants her there. 

Post # 12
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m confused… I get that it’s frustrating to not like your brother’s girlfriend but are they asking you to put her in the wedding? Are they asking you to do anything but tolerate the sound of her voice when you have to be in her presence at family functions? That’s life…

Post # 13
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I hate, hate, hate my brothers longterm Girlfriend. She is a vile, obnoxious, loudmouthed C U Next Tuesday. You do what you have to do…. You just put up with it. 

Post # 14
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My boyfriend’s sister really hates me a lot, for no reason that anybody knows of. She did not invite me to her wedding, and has made it clear that I am not allowed at her house for family dinners etc. 
I guess if it really bothers you that much, don’t have her in the wedding. I’d talk to your brother about it if I were you, and let him know you don’t mean to hurt him. In my case, my bf’s sister didn’t talk to him and it caused hard feelings on his end.  

Post # 15
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ahhh this almost happened to me! My brother’s girlfriend was HORRIBLE, and although I wasn’t planning on including her in the ceremony or anything, I was pretty unhappy that she’d even be around. It’s hard to deal with negative people around such a happy occasion, but try to focus on the people that you do want there!

Anyway, miraculously they broke up… hope it works out for you, too!!

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