(Closed) what to do if you would rather not register for "usual" gifts

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think if you make it clear that you want to redo aspects of your home and would like Home Depot giftcards its fine. Then maybe after the wedding when sending thank you notes, you can let each person know a little about what you used that gift card for, such as “thank you so much for helping us with a new vanity for our bathroom”, ect. This way, they feel that they gave you a gift and not just cash. 

Post # 4
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

You should not register and should not have showers. That will be the signal to your guests to give money. You can also let your wedding party and parents know that Home Depot gift cards are a great idea if guests ask. Some guests will insist on buying a gift because that’s just their way, so be prepared for that.

Post # 5
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Register for whatever you need that’s traditional and then either leave it at that (even if it means 20 small items for a 100 person wedding) or register for the rest of the items on amazon.  You can pick out a sink at home depot and find the same thing on amazon.  We actually got most of the things we registered for on amazon, mainly from our 24 year old friends who online shop exclusively.

Post # 6
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We also had the same issue of having lived together for over 2 years by the time we got married, but we have a lot of traditional family members so we registered for some traditional items.  We stocked up on sheets, towels, etc… upgraded a few things (I got a Keurig YAY!) and we replaced our old dishes with a nicer, new set from our registry.

We also spread via word of mouth (the one time it paid off to have a slightly loud-mouthed MIL) that we were saving up for a honeymoon.  Between the *hints* from her and other family members, and our fairly small registry, we ended up with a lot of cash/check/gift card gifts.

I think (personally) that asking for gift cards is just about the same as asking for cash, so we didn’t do that.  Lukcily, we managed to strike a balance between a smaller, traditional registry, and spreading the word informally that we’re saving up for whatever.

Post # 7
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

If there are some interesting things you want on Amazon, go ahead and register for them.  Otherwise, don’t register at all (or keep your list very small), and I think that’s a signal for people to give you cash.

Post # 8
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

people w ho want to give physical gifts will give you a physical gift whether you have a registry or not. My advice is to think of some things you’d like to upgrade around your house or for your future home and register for them.  That way you at least up the chances you get something you like/want instead of some random gift you hate. Even though we don’t need much, we still registered despite not wanting to. People still gave us things that we didn’t register for. It’s annoying but it happens.  A registry is a suggestion of things to buy, not a requirement.  

Word of mouth (by others not you) is the only acceptable way to spread the word that money is preferred for your new kitchen.

Post # 9
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think you guys should be trail blazers and be the first couple ever to register for        2 x 4s and nails! 🙂

(Everyone gave good advice already so I just wanted to be silly)

Post # 10
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Do a traditional register for the things you need want to replace like sheets, pillows, towels, maybe a new pot and pan set. And in the comment section of the registry, most have one that the bride and groom can type a message to their guests write giftcards to Home Depot are also greatly appreciated since we would like to remodel our kitchen.

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