(Closed) What to do? It's all falling apart!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1330 posts
Bumble bee

I am so sorry to hear about your mum. This is a very stressful time in her life I can imagine, and this must be so hard knowing your mum is going through this while trying to enjoy your wedding festivities/bachelorette, etc.


Hugs and hopin your mum keeps her chin up and keeps strong, but remember that breast cancer is scary and she may try to put on the brave face for you…remember to dig a little deeper and let her know its ok to open up to you and that you will be there for her too, just like she will be there for you on your wedding day.

About the bachelorette, friends will do that. Don’t put any expectations of the friends to attend or not, that way you are pleasantly surprised when they do. People are funny (I have noticed, socially) on FB and twitter, messenger…etc…its like, some would rather live their life through their social feed, than actually being social.

I say this because a lot of people here on the Bee have had problems with attendance at Bachelorettes, showers, etc. It happens…and it sucks!!!

Good luck with the house renos…sounds fun-I might come and join you swinging a hammer or two…I hear you on the stress!!

Post # 4
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry to hear this. 🙁 FI’s sister-in-law (who was supposed to be one of the bridesmaids in my wedding) is going through the same thing as your mother. She’s having her surgery the week before my wedding and has to go through the radiation and chemotherapy as well. She (and her husband and her little boy who were also supposed to be in my bridal party) can’t even come to my wedding now because they’re in another province, but I’m sure your mother will at least be at your wedding, so there’s one positive for you and I’m sure there are more.

It’s so hard for the person who has the cancer and so hard on the family to watch someone they care about go through it, but you can’t let it ruin your big day. I felt like my wedding was ruined because I didn’t know how I was going to enjoy my wedding with this on my mind, so I posted here for help and I’ll tell you some of the same things the other bees told me:

#1. Try to stay positive. Breast cancer is survivable so try not to think the worst.

#2. Keep praying for your mother.

#3. You MUST try to ENJOY your wedding, not only because your mom would WANT you to enjoy it (and would hate to be the reason for you not enjoying it), but because the wedding can be a good distraction for your mother from the cancer and along with life’s difficult times, we have to have good times as well.

I hope this helps you as much as it helped me!




Post # 5
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Very sorry, hope things turn better soon!

Post # 6
36 posts
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m sorry about your mom- she’ll be in my prayers.

Why does your best friend’s bf not want her to go to your bachelorette party? Seems controlling, to me.

Post # 8
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Hi There,

I’m actually looking at a similar situation. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer at the start of the year.  She had surgery several months ago, and then quite a long, intense round of chemo which she recently completed. She is beginning her radiation therapy now and will have another surgery to remove her second breast three months before the wedding. I just wanted to reassure you – it is survivable.

Mum has told me that the radiation isn’t bad at all compared to the chemo. Chemo she was very sick and tired. With radiation, she says people can be more tired than they usually would be but not as sick as during chemo. I have been keeping an eye on her – as best I can from a different state – and she is coping with it quite well so far. But then – everyone reacts differently. Apparently the further into the radiation you go, the more tired you can get.

The wedding planning has been a great distraction for her – we announced pur engagement towards the last few rounds of her chemo and dad said she perked up a lot – it was something else to focus on. I introduced her to Pinterest – she pin things and look at ideas from the couch and its not too physically taxing on her.

I guess all you can really do is be there for her if she needs you, and make sure she doesn’t try to take on too much with the wedding. If she can be kept relaxed and rested in the lead up, she should be able to enjoy the wedding to the full with you.


Post # 10
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Adalita:  Thankyou! She is doing well at this stage. 

I hoor everything goes smoothly for your mum. Enjoy your day! 

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