(Closed) What to do? My MOH stopped talking to me.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i don’t really have any advice, but i’m sorry you have to deal with this. it sounds like your maid of honor has some growing up to do. is it too late to replace her? if it’s going to be too difficult for her to be involved in your wedding, maybe you guys should talk about having her step down as maid of honor. weddings have a tendency to bring out the worst in people, unfortunately, and her behavior probably won’t get any better.  

right around the time that i got engaged, my best friend (who was also a bridesmaid) was going thru a break up with her fiance of 6 years. even tho she was going thru a difficult time, she was still very happy for me and happy to be part of the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

She needs space yet she upset you aren’t a phone person? She being selfish and not fair. Let hope she just taken a temporary laspe of judgement and she comes to her senses and apologizes.

Sorry! Give her the space, but  don’t stay in limbo forever, she doesn’t get to discard and ignore you when it suits her. That not how you treat friends.

Post # 6
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

🙁 these posts make me soooo sad !

Post # 7
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly, I get that is sucks to break up but it was a year ago! A real, true friend would be happy to be there for you on your big day and this girl seems like a selfish little witch…I think you should just count yourself lucky to be rid of her and pick someone more deserving to be your Maid/Matron of Honor…

Post # 8
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Awe virtual hugs to you. I am going thru the exact same thing with my MOH/BFF (I have 2 MOHs). Her baby daddy is locked up (for a very long time) and I think I’m the last of her friends to get married. I’m really trying to make it work with her but it seems she doesn’t want to really be involved at all in my wedding (she didn’t show for any dress fittings with me, or my bridal shower or to pick out the bridal party dresses). I would start looking to have another Maid/Matron of Honor because from her actions, it seems she is done with the relationship.

Post # 9
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@alishaloo:  I know! I can’t believe how many people lose friendships around their wedding! 🙁

Hugs, OP, I don’t have any advice!

Post # 11
Member
2685 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yuck, what a bad situation. Hopefully her little tantrum won’t last that long, and you can talk things through in terms of what you want to do. You are not being selfish or unfair at all. It’s crappy that she’s putting you through this. My best friend and Maid/Matron of Honor is also going through a tough adjustment time (we both just had our previous marriages end in the past 2 years), and while she has admitted to being jealous that I’ve found someone so wonderful so soon, she is also thrilled for me and has been nothing but loving. 

Even if she ends up showing at the wedding, she was your only attendant, so she won’t be wearing a matching dress or anything that would make it obvious she was supposed to be up there. You or Fiance or new-MOH can just have quick word with her telling her the business, thanking her for coming, and inviting her to sit with the other guests. Hopefully in that situation, she’d be adult enough not to cause a scene. My 2cents.

Post # 13
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry she’s being so immature and has hurt you. You seem to have been very respectful of her break up and very sweet to her. Obviously I don’t know her personally but from what I’m reading here’s what I see. I think when your phone broke and made the comment you’ve enjoyed not being attached to it 24/7… she took it way to personally and what she heard was “I like not being available to talk to you for hours on end”. Even though she went through a hard break up and I’m sure it’s tough being around people in relationships but does that mean you hide in a closet away from anyone that’s not single? To me, she’s making an excuse by saying she needs space.

I had a friend once that hated the phone and the only way I could communicate with her was texting. Having a full on conversation through text is extremely difficult. Theres a lot of reasons we don’t talk anymore but like you, our relationship was getting toxic and I don’t need to be poisioned!! Some people have their own communication styles they’re comfortable with but friends need to compromise.

If I was you I’d send her an e-mail or call her and say “You seem to have a lot on your emotional plate right now and I feel it’s best if I take the role of Maid/Matron of Honor off so you can take care of yourself”. If she does RSVP to the wedding hopefully by then she’s a bit more stable and not such a selfish bitch!! Sorry about the last few words but I couldn’t stop my fingers.

I hope everything works out.

Post # 14
Hostess
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

this girl sounds a like a real looney toon! I guess you can’t uninvite her and everythin is already set.  I say give her “space” and then contact her a little bit closer to the wedding and let her know that you understand her situation (even if you don’t, it will keep her calm) and then have her do as little as possible for the wedding.  At this point you just need to get through the day with this girl and then re-evaluate your friendship with her

Post # 16
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@tani139:  Now that I know you work 16 hours days in the music industry and are in a noisy environment or on the phone all day get why you want some time without being on the phone when you get home. When I was working as a dental office manager I was constantly on the phone and talking to patients all day the last thing I wanted to do when I got off work was yack on the phone for hours on end. 

Your Maid/Matron of Honor was totally out of line and very wrong about you never succeeding in your career due to you wanting to have a “no phone zone” at home after work hours. Most likely you’re very successful and give 110%. I’m guessing she’s jealous you give so much time to your career and not to her and that’s why she said that.

The topic ‘What to do? My MOH stopped talking to me.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors