Post # 1
I will try to keep this short & not too confusing. 🙂
Fiance & I were planning to get married in Northern Michigan which is approx. 2-2.5 hours away from home (where most of our families/friends live). We wanted to have a casual restaurant reception at a brewing company that we love. They have a private room that holds up to 50 people, which I thought would be perfect but now I’m realizing that even with inviting close family/friends (aunts, uncles, cousins) our guest list is too big for our restaurant! (FI has a big family!) Now I’ve been thinking about getting married up north but having a reception back home.
I already have my photographer, officiant, baker & ceremony site booked. The good thing about the restaurant is that although we have a reservation for our date, there is no deposit required. And, with it being a casual restaurant, I won’t feel too guilty if we cancel. The town is a tourist town so there aren’t many other places to hold a reception – well, I should say there aren’t really any that I like.
So now, I am warming up to the idea of having a reception back home…not worrying about whether or not people will be able to make the Destination Wedding, afford it, bring their kids, & won’t have to worry as much about the number of people invited, etc. My dilemma now is that I still want to have my mom, dad, sister & BFF come to the ceremony. And my family is super supportive so I bet a couple of my aunts/uncles will want to come regardless. FI’s family on the other hand… if we are definitely going to have a reception @ home, it would probably just mean that his Dad & step-mom, sister and his two best guy friends would come. (His mom passed away.)
If we are to go ahead with this, should we extend an invitation to everyone on our original guest list saying that they are more than welcome to come to the ceremony but that we are having an official reception back home? How do I word that?
Has anyone else encountered something like this? Any advice is much appreciated 🙂 Thanks Bees!
Post # 3
I know some people who have done this and only invited a small group of people to the wedding, had some sort of wording in their invitation that mentions either a “private” or “intimate” gathering of your closest friends and family (so that those people know that it’s semi-private and hopefully keep it that way). Then you will send everyone on your original list the information about the reception only.
However, I think in your case that you could go ahead and invite everyone on your original list to the ceremony, but you’d definitely want to be pretty clear that it’s a small, intimate celebration of your marriage. If you make the part about your ceremony a smaller text and have more information and bigger text about your reception, people will get the point.
(And by Northern MI, do you mean the Upper Peninsula?)
Post # 4
@emster83: I am a little confused – would you be inviting just family to the ceremony and intimate reception or would it be family and close friends? That makes a huge difference I think.
Post # 5
@Wannabe-diy-bride: That’s a good idea about being clear with the intentions. Our ceremony site is in Traverse City, still in the lower peninsula.
@busterbluth: We would be inviting close family (mom, dads, sisters) & one or two close friends on each side to the ceremony, then have a reception back home with extended families.
Post # 6
I am so glad to see that someone else is having SUCH a similar question. As a matter of fact, I found this posting through Google, and just signed up for a weddingbee account so I could participate in this thread.
I am from southwestern Michigan, and am in a very similar situation — my Fiance and I love Northern Michigan (including the UP), but feel obligated to get married in a location that will allow close family & friends to be there.
Have you made any further decisions since your last posting? I am interested to see what you come up with. We are currently thinking of having a small ceremony up north, and then a big reception in or near our hometown. I was just reading on some sample invitations about how to use the wording for a reception only, such as:
Mr. and Mrs. Bob Smith
and Mr. and Mrs. Don Jones
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage reception of their children
Mary Sue Smith
Billy Joe Jones
when they return as husband and wife
from a private ceremony
in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula
Saturday, October 6, 2008
at six o’clock in the evening