- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
I have a predicament on my hands. Let me give you a little background info…Fiance has a friend (they met as children and were close friends through high school and remained good friends even after attending different colleges…long-time friends, they know each others families, etc) We were engaged just over a year ago, and Fiance asked this friend to be a groomsman in our wedding when we first got engaged. The friend agreed. We started our planning. Nothing had changed (or so we thought!) with this friend; we heard from his as much as we normally would, he never really mentioned anything abnormal about the wedding coming up other than asking about planning (even sent me a text at one point asking if I needed childhood pics for a slideshow). Fiance sent his groomsmen a little info card from the tux shop about 2 months ago – at which time this friend calls to randomly chat (as normal) and throws in at the end “and I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to make it to your wedding…”
Fiance tried to coax out of him why he might not be able to attend. After beating around the real reason, he finally said he wasn’t sure that it was worth the $. We understand that money is tight for a lot of people, and empatize. We considered giving him the money for the tux (we are getting a discount for renting so many tuxes and also pitching in to make the tuxes very reasonable…$100) We then talked to friends and the Bridesmaid or Best Man who said he’s has really changed and is being incredibly different. We have tried calling, emailing, texting to get an answer out of him to see if he’ll be at our wedding.
We finally left him alone for about a month. The last we heard from him, Fiance said we needed to know by April 15 and he said “Oh yeah, I’ll let you know”. He never tried to contact us once.
I don’t feel like he wants to be in our wedding. I think Fiance feels hurt that he doesn’t want to be and is having a hard time accepting that. I don’t know what to do. I have also known this person since I was young and thought about calling him myself just to see if he’s okay. I don’t want to intrude or get mixed up in something that I don’t need to “stick my nose in”.
I have planned my heart out on this wedding, Fiance and I have been together for over 9 years (high school sweethearts!), and I really want it to be exactly what we want. However I’m having a hard time with this one predicament. Please help, bees! :