(Closed) What to do, what to do…

posted 9 years ago in Vow Renewals
  • poll: What would you do?
    Some sort of lottery to see who gets to stay with y'all for free... : (0 votes)
    Some sort of lottery to see who get to stay with you, but pays. : (0 votes)
    Whoever responds first gets to stay there for free and the rest are overflow to the HOJO. : (4 votes)
    33 %
    Whoever responds first gets to stay there and PAYS, HOJO the rest of them. : (6 votes)
    50 %
    Other, please explain below. : (1 votes)
    8 %
    Honey! : (1 votes)
    8 %

    12 votes

    • Post # 1
    Member
    2324 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    OK, a little back story…my husband and I eloped in Las Vegas and then were planning to have a huge reception a couple of months later. Well, a month after we were married, I got pregnant. So, those plans fell by the wayside for the baby {who is now 5}. We said we would renew our vows at 5 years then. Well, we’ll be married for 6 years this August and are just now getting around to planning it for around our 7th anniversary. Gotta scratch the 7 year itch, I guess. 🙂

     

    So, I’ve been looking for venues that I like, which is hard! when you can do anything you want, it’s hard to make up your mind. I’ve been through 5 different venues in my city alone, but three different cities all together. Anyway, on to my problem…

    I found a venue about two hours away from here, that combines a destination event {which is what I really want} with something close enough to home that people could just come for the ceremony/reception if they wanted. It’s a sort of planned community with a bed and breakfast plus about 10 cottages. It sleeps about 50 all together I believe. This is where my problem lies…the package for a weekend wedding include all meals {2 breakfast, 1 lunch and 2 dinners including the reception} and lodging for 50. You can pay for extra meals, which we would do, of course. It also says you can pay for extra people to stay, but I’ve counted all the rooms max. occupancy and it’s not going to fit more than 50 anyway except kids. We have about 75 people that we want to invite. We will get very good turnout. Our friends love a reason to all get together and have fun. There are local hotels that would be very inexpensive for the one or two nights people would be there. Like 60-$80 a night cheap! They’re not great hotels, but they’re clean…probably. 🙂

    What I really want to know if how do I decide who stays with us at the venue? We don’t have large families, so that’s only about 20 people at the most. I would want my best friend who is performing the ceremony to stay there with her family. I also plan on bringing a couple of babysitters, so they’ll stay on property as well. Also, how do I go about the fact that some people will get a free weekend and some will have to pay? Should I set some small price for everybody and have everybody pay something? Should I pay for everybody’s lodging? I really don’t want to do that, because it will cut down on my party budget! 🙂 Is it just not a big deal? Do I concoct some sort of crazy lottery system and drive myself crazy with worry for a year and a half? 

    Help…

     

    Here some pics taken by Tara Guerard of the venue. She is apparently planning a May 2010 wedding there. I can’t wait, because I’m sure it will be amazing! More pics and some commentary by the master… http://blog.soireecharleston.com/2009/07/13/change-of-scenery/

     

    [attachment=265237,30530] [attachment=265237,30531] [attachment=265237,30532] [attachment=265237,30533]

    Post # 3
    Member
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Could you maybe do it on a first RSVP/first dibs on the free lodging scenario? I don’t know how you’d spread the word on that but it’s the only fair thing I can think of. The place is gorgeous, btw.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1018 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    I would say family and people directly involved get to stay with you, for sure. Before trying to figure out who can stay and who has to go elsewhere, though, I would talk to the management directly. If they say 50 included and then say additional people can stay for a fee, there might be something you aren’t aware of. Just find out if there is enough space for 74 people. If not, maybe you let the rooms go to people on a first-come first-serve basis.

    Post # 5
    Member
    281 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I agree first come first serve…where is that location????  It looks beautiful!

    Post # 6
    Member
    484 posts
    Helper bee

    Can you have them take the room fee for the 30 beds you don’t need off of your total price? This way, anyone not staying in the 20 beds you pay for will have to pay to stay at the venue. If they dont want to stay there, you can provide info for other area hotels.

    If you take away the option of having the entire place in your contract you solve the problem of choosing who gets a free room (beyond who you already know you want to provide lodging for). I would just ask them to ensure they do not rent rooms to non-wedding guests so your event is still private.

    I think this works because you are providing lodging for your family and anyone involved in the ceremony. That will make sense to your other guests (and whose to say they need to know about it anyway).

    Post # 7
    Member
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee

    Have you really tried to figure if there is anyone to cut?  Can you cut kids?  The B&B mentioned something about adding people, have you asked them about this, or how they’d accommodate extras?  Maybe they have an arrangement you don’t know about. 

    It sounds like you’re about 25 over.  WHile you think you’ll get a good turn out, it’s hard to know, with a few declines and perhaps some folks driving just for the day, how many people you’ll need to accommodate. 

    Could you try to charge some amount to the folks who want to stay at the B&B, but offer to pay for lodging for the folks who opt for the hotels?  That way both options have some appeal. 

    Could you just explain that there is limited space at the B&B, and those interested in staying there will get a spot based on the order their responses come in?

    At the very least, if you are covering the cost for those staying at the lovely B&B, I would also pay for the lodging of those who have to stay offsite.  Otherwise they might feel slighted twice over.

    Sounds really beautiful, though.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I would do the first-come-first-served scenario, but there’s no way I’d pay for lodging for 50 extra people! =/

    Post # 9
    Member
    815 posts
    Busy bee

    I voted for first come, first serve and stay for free but I didn’t mean to.  Sorry.  Is there a way for you to pay for a portion of each room so that it’s more affordable?  That way it’s easier for people to stay there and you don’t have to cut into your budget too much.  The thing I would worry about is people that are really important to you not reserving their rooms in time–could you reserve some just in case?

    I’ve been to some really beautiful weddings in somewhat remote locations that had few hotel options.  It doesn’t take away from the celebration–it’s very thoughtful of you to at least think of your guests.

    Post # 10
    Member
    473 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I’d do what Habibi recommends. Guests don’t expect you to pay for their accommodations for the weekend.  I would pay for your family only and then reserve rooms for others there, as well as at two local hotels.  Then you save $ and can have a bigger party!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2324 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Thanks for all the responses…keep them coming. I haven’t even seen the place yet, so I might hate it, but it looks and sounds fantastic. I’m going to meet with them in about a week, so I’ll see where the extras will fit then.

    @rchel~ The venue is Gorham’s Bluff, which is about 2 hours away from Birmimgham in Pisgah, AL. It’s by Scottsboro and Ft. Payne I believe.

    @Tanya~ I am not expecting too many children, but since we have one and all of our good friends have one, I’m open to them. It’s just part of our lifestyle, kwim?

    I really like the idea of the first come, first serve thing. Our friends got married at a summer camp and did the same thing. BUT, everybody had to pay no matter what. So you didn’t feel slighted. It was much cheaper to stay at the camp. I like the idea of possibly taking part of the rooms out of my price and letting everybody pay. My friends would expect and be totally fine with paying for their rooms. We’re a traveling group! I also don’t really mind paying for everybody, but I would rather throw a kick a$$ party! 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    2324 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    bump…

    Help me people! 🙂 

    The topic ‘What to do, what to do…’ is closed to new replies.

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