Post # 1
I need some honest advice about how to go about involving a friend of mine in our wedding. We are having a small wedding (100 guests, max), and we’ve already asked our closest friends and family to be part of the wedding party. However, I’ve been torn about two of my close friends– one of them I am asking to do a reading-type thing at the ceremony, but i’m not sure about the other friend– i’ve gotten some suggestions about asking her to be an attendant of sorts, but i feel a little uncomfortable asking any friend to be an ‘attendant’– i just really don’t care for that title. Do any of you have any suggestions? Can I make up some mish-mash role for her? A quasi-BM/attendant/organizer? Is that weird?
Please advise 🙂 Thanks, ladies!
Post # 3
You can make up your own rules on what you want her to be! Personally, I wouldn’t have her be a guestbook attendant or present watcher because both of those aren’t really necessary and sort of demeaning in my opinion.
Post # 4
I have a similar dilemma and I’m leaning toward the “non-bridesmaid” route (see link), but haven’t quite decided yet. I’d love to see some other ideas!
Post # 5
Is your other friend musically inclined? If so, maybe having her do a short musical piece (singing or playing) during your ceremony. Or, have both your friends “share” in the reading – alternating paragraphs or phrases. Another suggestion is to have her say grace at dinner (if you are planning to say a prayer).
I have always heard that being an attendant can be seen as doing all of the things of a bridesmaid without getting the credit of being a bridesmaid – I’m not sure if this is an accurate depiction, but just my opinion!
Post # 6
If you want her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, have her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, these days it is not necessary for sides to be even. Remember that some people may view “personal attendant” aka “wedding slave” as all of the work with none of the honor. If you don’t want her as Bridesmaid or Best Man and there are no more readings for her to do, what about having her light a candle or be an usher?
Post # 7
I missed chitown’s post about having the girls do different parts of the reading — that is a great idea!
Post # 8
thanks, ladies, for your input and honest opinions! that’s the thing i’m struggling with– attendants seem to get a bad rep, although i really am not sure…. and yes, it does have sort of a demeaning ring to it. i’m not quite sure how to go about it, although twocities, i love the idea of having non-bridesmaids… hmm. too bad i already asked three of my dearest friends to be BM’s.