- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
I wrote our wedding invitations on a typwriter. Each invitation contained a formal invite, a reception card, and a reply card. They were placed in a dark gray folder and tied with a velvet ribbon. My FH designed and made a stamp with our return address.
And all this while I was updating my mom about the work it was taking, and how excited I was.
And then I mailed them. Four days went by and my mother didn’t tell me if she had received it after I had been so excited for her to see it. I called her. She said she got it… long silence. I asked her if she liked them… this is what she said:
“No. No, I didn’t Is that okay? I was surprised, for a young woman who wants people to take her seriously, you don’t show that with these.”
I was stunned that she would say that. I tried to remedy it: “Well, everyone has differnt style.”
“It’s not about different style. I just know how you like to have things well put together. I’m just being honest. Is that okay?”
My face–three hundred miles away–was on fire. I can’t even really remeber what other shitty thing she had to say. I mean, I totally should have bought some really terrific purple butterflies and flowery prints from the nineties to crowd the whole thing. BETTER. No offense to butterfly floral print lovers (I actually like some).But it was clear that she didn’t really get that minimalism isn’t poorly done.
So, because I’m a grown up, I started to cry. My mom acted like she was surprised!
“Oh, don’t cry!” she felt bad. “I mean, who’s going to be honest. Did you want me to lie?”
I said: “You don’t have to lie, but you could at least say that you realized it took me a long time. I mean–they’re all sent out already. I have to get off the phone.”
“No, don’t get off.”
“I’m not mad at you, but I have to get off the phone.” SOBS*
Geez. I cried for a long time after that. I’ve been doing most of this wedding on my own and it was so important for me to include her in all the little details from afar. We haven’t always had the best relationship, often because she can be a little less mom and a little more mean big sister.
Now I’m really angry. And sad. I’m torn between trying to smooth everything over because the wedding is next month and feeling really self-conscious and embarrassed about these things.
I know that I need to just be confident in what I make and do, if for no other reason than I like how it turned out. But gosh, I feel crappy.
How do I proceed?