(Closed) What to do when someone can't/won't provide a mailing address?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@sillysillybee:  That is ridiculous that they don’t know their own addresses!!

Anyways, I’d just send one invite to the parents house and write “Jones Family” (assuming that everyone in the family is invited.) At least you can save on the postage, and they probably will forget to RSVP anyways :-p

Post # 4
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@sillysillybee:  I think it’s totally fine to send the invites to their parents, in separate envelopes. Whatever, some people in their 20s (and older, thinking of some of my crazy relatives) just don’t have it together. 

Post # 6
2213 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@sillysillybee:  If they’re adults, they should get their own separate invitiation, like @remijp:  said, even if they’re all being sent to the same address.  The plus one issue is one reason why you shouldn’t just send one invite to the whole family.

“I don’t know my own address” is pretty lame, and that’s what I’d chock this up to:  laziness.  Maybe ask their parents for their addresses, or at least for the brother’s, if the one cousin can’t be bothered to figure his own address out?

Post # 7
2573 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@sillysillybee:  Eh, I would just send three separate invitations (each with a +1)  to the aunt/uncle’s house. I had a few guests that I was unsure about their addresses as they were students who didn’t have a permanent abode. There were a few houses that ended up getting multiple albeit separate invites.

Post # 8
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@sillysillybee:  Originally I was going to say just list out the people invited and indicate who gets a guest on the inner envelope, but now that I re-read I’m assuming you’re not having one. You could send the separate invites to the same address.  Or, depending on how close FI is with his cousins, he could always mention it to them that they get to bring guests. Not sure how formal your wedding is or how concerned you are with etiquette. 🙂

Post # 9
673 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@sillysillybee:  I would just send an invitation to the family, and maybe in passing with them mention to the parents that you expected that each of the sons might have a plus one, or something along those lines.

Post # 10
1413 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@sillysillybee:  Send three separate invitations.  That’s what you would have done anyway if they provided their addresses.

Post # 11
9145 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@sillysillybee:  I had to do this with one of the invitations I sent because the guy (another 20s male) had just moved and didn’t know his address.  Just mail it to his parents in a separate envelope with his name on it.  I just chalk it up to guys in their 20s.

Post # 12
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would just send them their own invites but send them to their parents’ house.  I have a couple cousins who were about to move when I was gathering addresses, so they asked me to send the invites to their parents’ house and they would pass them on.  

Post # 13
1214 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

Maybe try yellowpages.com

Post # 14
45627 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sillysillybee:  As stupid as he sounds, I would send separate invitations to the parents’ home.

Post # 15
6152 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ugh, that’s annoying. DH’s family was a PITA for invites. He has an aunt, whose two grown (unmarried) daughters both live with her. Becuase I was giving each daughter a +1, I had to send 3 invites to the same address. Talk about an annoying waste of postage. Every other occasion I buck tradition and send things like Christmas cards to them all on the same card. FWIW, they send out a joint Christmas card together.

However, we did have one friend of DH that I hounded. Well not houdned, but definitely messaged like 3 times about his address. He never got back, so I said forget it, I didn’t send him an invite. Come to find out later (via my brother) said friend thought our wedding would be “too fancy” and he wouldn’t fit in. Ummmm, ok? 



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