Post # 1
Thank you so much all of you who answered my thread about people who don’t rsvp…I would like to know how to handle a ‘what if’ situation..apologies if I shouldn’t have started another thread…I would be really interested in advice on how to handle the ‘if they show up’ situation –
So we agree that if these guests don’t RSVP, we will count them as a no. They have already had an email now informing them that this will happen and we will reiterate that via phone call a few days before caterer and supplier deadlines. Having never hosted a wedding before we are unsure what the final outcome will be….for all we know we could have quite a few unexpected guests who ignore what we have said…
Caterers won’t be able to supply any extra food on the day, but luckily it is buffet food (still paying per head) so it is slightly easier than set meals…We have to hire tables and chairs. We are hiring crockery, cutlery and glasswear. And we are not going to take into account any of the ‘maybe’ guests….to do so would run into £100’s
Now imagine anwhere between 2-10 guests turn up that you weren’t expecting. Do we turn them away? We won’t have access to any more crockery, glasswear or cutlery on the day other than hired items. No extra tables…no space to sit
What would you do and how far should we go to accomodate this situation? You are there on your wedding day and someone who ignored the request to please RSVP and just shrugged it off with a ‘maybe’ does show up like nothing is wrong at all, and says “…But you knew we might be coming!” and expects you to find a non-existant table, crockery, glasswear, drinks and food for them, husband and three kids…what do you do?
Post # 3
@Zoe75: What we did was try to contact the person twice after the RSVP date. We wrote down the time of the call/email/text.
We had a hostess who had a list at the door. Those who RSVPed were let in. Those who did not were todl “I’m sorry but we never received your RSVP. You tried contacting you this time and when we hward no response we assumed you could not come. You can stay to see if someone who did RSVP does not show up but we will have to wait until after dinner is served” in the nicest was possible. It is their fault, not your’s!!
We had a lot of no shows the day of the wedding so the 6 people who never RSVPed that showed up were allowed to sit down
Post # 4
First, I would not take “maybe” as an answer, either you are coming or you are not.
Second, if they were to just show up. I wouldn’t say anything to them as I will be too busy with everything else. There would be no seat or meal for them. Awkward for them maybe, but its not my concern and I should not have to worry about accommodating them. Call me cold, but you don’t just randomly show up to a wedding and expect it to be okay.
Post # 5
I don’t know. If someone didn’t RSVP, but they still made an effort to show up, I’d be the bigger person and try to accommodate them. You might have people who RSVP’d “yes,” and then don’t show, so it could even out in the end.
Even if it doesn’t, I just can’t imagine that I would have remembered who RSVP’d, who didn’t and noticed who showed or didn’t accordingly. I was way too wrapped up in a big ball of happy and pretty on that day to be focused on such things.
We had a very small wedding (38ppl), and pretty much see everyone that was invited at least on a weekly basis, so I also accepted verbal RSVP’s.
Post # 6
The polite thing to do is to accommodate them. Caterers will ALWAYS have extra dishes, cutlery etc. Especially if it is a buffet, as people may want 2nd rounds. Even at a plated dinner they bring extras in case something is dropped.
I also suspect that it would be possible to come up with extra tables, and seat the extras at a table even if it means they would be slightly squished. But of course following up with the guests a head of time is better then getting a surprise.