(Closed) What to do when they don't RSVP???? Help!!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

if he hasn’t responded to the modes of communication you’ve used, you can try something new (or know that they most likely are not coming).  Call or text.  And instead of asking him to rsvp, just ask him if they’re coming- say you fully understand schedules can be very hectic, but you have to put in final food order today.

We didn’t do seating or order meals for any person who didn’t rsvp, tell us they were coming, or at least tell someone to tell us that they were coming. 

Post # 17
Member
47342 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think it necessarily mean that he thinks so little of your friendship. They probably forgot to rsvp, then got so embarassed that now they are afraid to.

At this point, I don’t think the obligation is on you to find other ways to communicate. Message him saying that having had no response, you are assuming they are unable to attend.

 

Post # 19
Member
4813 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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Gwendolyn88:  Assume they aren’t coming.   

Post # 20
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

RUDE! weddings are expensive and numbers matter- everyone knows this. Your “friend” is either being passive aggressive about declining the invite, or he’s lazy and disrespectful. You don’t need that in your life! I’m sorry but you value the friendship more than he does and it’s time to just let it go.

Post # 21
Member
19 posts
Newbee

My wedding is Sept.  And our deadline for the rsvp is 8/1. We r doing the online rsvp,  so,  simply click “yes” or “no” . It only takes 2 seconds.  And ppl still dont do it!!!  How frustrating!!!!!!  

Post # 22
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

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jamb:  omg you are hilirious! My exact thoughts. 

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Gwendolyn88:  honey I had multiple people that did not RSVP! I was beyond pissed. I do not understand why people find it so difficult to RSVP. Its like they do not understand that your guest count has to be in at a certain time for the caterer and venue setup. I paid for 150 people. Invited 160 plus the bridal party of 10. So I had a total count of 170. I was originally going to pay the caterer for 170 people but decided to keep the number at 150. Thank God. Because people didn’t RSVP and if they did some did not show up. We had only 85-90 people including the bridal party. So I should have only paid for 100 people at the maximum. I called and his mom called people who hadn’t RSVPed the week before to see who was coming or not. I could have saved a thousand or two!

I just suggest you call people once and leave it at that. Also do not reserve a spot for them thinking “well what if people just show up” because this is where I messed up.

Post # 23
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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Gwendolyn88:  If they can’t be bothered to reply to repeated RSVP messages, chances are good they are the sort of people who will also find it too much effort to show up on the day. At this point I would be be crystal clear with him that RSVPs are closed and he missed out.

Post # 24
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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Gwendolyn88:  First – your friend is being rude.  Second – mark him and his family as a ‘no’.  Wedding RSVPs were our biggest nightmare I think!

Post # 25
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

 

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Gwendolyn88:  I wouldn’t assume it is a reflection of his feelings toward you. Some people – even people who love you – are just really bad at RSVPs. When I was a little younger, I would routinely lose RSVP cards and end up being chased down by an irritated bride at the last minute. It wasn’t that I didn’t care. I was irresponsible and honestly, I didn’t understand how much work goes into wedding planning. Now that I’m having my own wedding, I get those RSVP cards in the mail the day I get them lol. 

Post # 26
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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Gwendolyn88:  Please try not to be embarassed. I completely understand (as I’ve felt that way from some of my guests lack of response), but you have a long history with him and it was really sweet of you to invite him and his family. He is the one who should be embarassed. It’s his loss!

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