Post # 1
Been dating a guy for 6 years. I started getting antsy for commitment about two years ago. Many friends have met & married in this time. He agreed he wanted to spend forever with me, so we looked at rings last November.. fast forward to few months ago, he said saving up has been a challenge. I said ok, here are some cheaper ideas (a couple non-diamond options under $800). I am not demanding I get the $4,000 ring I loved the most. I keep extending my timeline to throw in the towel.. and every couple months I get excuses. Starting to grow resentful & go around circles of wanting to be excited.. weary of waiting. It isn’t healthy. To complicate things further, we live together & I would lose some things if we parted. And I hate to throw away what we have. However.. I don’t want to keep wasting precious time. My biological clock is also starting to tick a bit (I’m 30). My latest timeline is mid January.. how do I stick to this that I mean business? Do I kick him out & see what happens? Appreciate advice.. thanks bees.
Post # 2
This sucks. I’d talk to him again and explain that you want to take the next step and him keeping you in the dark or dragging his feet makes you feel insecure. He may not know you are feeling this upset and if he doesn’t know he may not feel the need to hurry. If he does know how badly you are ready to take the next step then there might be other issues ie he doesn’t want to get married/marry you. If he fully intends on propsing he should give you a firm date. If you are willing, find a ring that is even less expensive and you know he cpuld buy today. Do not accept the “I want to save and get you what you really deserve” shit. The ring is the least important thing right now, what’s important is ascertaining whether or not he’s serious about committing to a life with you. I’m sorry you are having to go through this, waiting can really be the worst. I strongly encourage another conversation with him and if needed maybe you propose to him?
Post # 3
If he wants to marry you, he can propose without a ring. Just sayin’.
Post # 4
I think men have a lot of pressure to make the proposal amazing for the woman. Even if you gave him a cheaper ring option, he could still be hoping to buy you the $4,000 ring. Also, he could be planning a proposal based on a vacation date.
I also think men need to have everything else in their lives lined up before they feel comfortable proposing. He may be waiting for a job promotion, a sick relative to get better, etc..
I would talk frankly and calmly with him. Tell him you’re hoping to have children and you’re getting to the age where time matters. Ask him about his timeline. I know its awkward to have these conversations, but they are necessary before you throw in the towel.
Post # 5
6 years. I’d be saying, “Either you get serious & we’re engaged in the next month or we have no future together. It’s been 6 years.”
And I wouldn’t say anything else.
Post # 6
I’m super straight-forward. There’s no way I’d be pussy-footing around this. It’s the rest of your life.
Post # 7
Is he the kind of guy who says he can’t save up for a $4,000 ring yet has no problem dropping $500 on a home theater system or other new guy toys on a whim? If so, that would be a good indication as to his intentions…many bees come here saying their man “can’t afford the ring you deserve” yet spends tons of money on himself with no problem.