(Closed) What to do when you hate your job and quitting isn't an option?

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 2
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I think almost (almost) everyone hates their job, or dislikes it to some degree. 

Honestly, if it’s actually making you physically ill, I’d leave. Maybe stick it out and see what happens with the transfer then go from there. 

Post # 3
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

stardustintheeyes:  We had an inservice on stress management where one of the techniques they taught was to imagine yourself covered head to toe in a white veil (appropriate for WeddingBee!) Nothing can penetrate the veil.

You can make a conscious choice to not let this person’s remarks or behavior affect you. Remember the veil!

Post # 4
1283 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017 - Baton Rouge, LA


stardustintheeyes:  right there with you. love my work. love my collegues. hate my boss. i just heard she applied for another job in the company. dear Lord let her get it!!!

Post # 5
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Aw Bee 🙁 My brother dealt with this for about four years! He ended up becoming depressed and gaining weight and he was having panic attacks things were so bad. His boss, from his description, was one of those bosses that picks favorites and targets the others for constant criticism, yelling, sabatoge, and so forth to try and get them to quit. He eventually got a different job in a different department at a large paycut, BUT he now can work nice flexible hours and the work is more closely related to what he studied and wants to do.

Please don’t suffer through a bad situation for as long as him. There are always pros and cons to finding a new position, but even if you think you’re being strong and keeping it together, those who love you might be able to tell otherwise. They might be worried about you, too. I hope you can find a way out soon!

Post # 6
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

1) Mentally check out.  Go to work, do the bare minimum, and go home.  

2) Don’t let it follow you home.  Easier said than done, but gets easier when you stop giving a shit about the job.

3) Find a new job.  They are out there.  Took me a while to get out of a soul-sucking dead end, but I did it, and couldn’t be happier about it.  Lost some benefits and pay which I was mad about at first, but now that I see the other side, I’d be happy to give up more.  

Post # 7
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

stardustintheeyes:  You say it is impossible to quit – I have to ask you why?  I totally respect the fact that you think you have no other option but do you really?

I was in the exact same situation.   GREAT job, respected, admired, good pay – great benefits.   I have loved every job I have ever had (even the high school jobs) but this was just horrendous.   I was terrified of quitting but I had to.   I was crying nearly every morning while driving to work and on weekends I felt ill because Monday was just around the corner.   My only break in misery was driving home on Friday.

I quit – I quit my research job and got a RETAIL job.  My parents were like “WTF?”  I now work at lululemon, of all places, and I love it.   My husband says I’ve done a 180.   I feel amazing and cannot believe it took me as long as it did to quit. 

I want to say “hang in there” but I think that’s bad advice.  I wish I had more people to tell me to just quit.  I would have done it sooner.    Take care, honey.   I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Post # 8
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

FutureMrsHitBee:  This makes me really sad and I hear that so much.   I NEVER hated any job, even, technically “crappy” jobs until I had my last one.    Now I’m back at a job I love.   I can’t believe how many people hate their jobs and it’s so sad they feel like they have no choice but to stay in them.

Post # 9
6447 posts
Bee Keeper

stardustintheeyes:  I used to be in that position.  And then my boss got fired.  I was lucky, but I did leave a job like that at one time and I was so much healthier for it.  I ended up meeting my husband when I started at the new part time job.

Post # 10
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


stardustintheeyes:  I have been there.  Honestly, I put in for lateral shifts until I got one.  It only took a few weeks until my husband said I was a totally new person. 

I would love to say to just quit, but I understand not being able to.  Right now, Darling Husband and I can’t affod much of a pay cut if we want to be paying what we need to on our mandatory bills and have any money for savings.  We had a talk though about what it would take for me to quit and just find something that I liked at that point.  We had both a savings and a debt payment goal.  That tunnel was long, but knowing the math actually made me feel good.   It was “In three years, I can quit my job and find a new one.”  Some days that was my mantra. 

Post # 11
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

stardustintheeyes:  first, i have been EXACTLY where you are. like every detail was the same. crazy nit-picking, impossible to please, moody, boss. my position was very unique and i LOVED the company and all the benefits and was making food money…etc. sadly, in the end, i just found myself a new job. but what you’re going through is literally the worst feeling, i am so sorry you’re dealing with it. 

BUT!! i have some advice! 

My advice is to think about going to your HR department. Pretty much everyone in my life advised me against it saying HR only protects management, and the company, etc. but depending on your issues, they might be inclinded to protect you as well. 

In my exit interview, i explained that i was pretty bummed to be leaving, because i loved my work and the company but that i could absolutely not work another day under my boss. i gave them examples of some of the major issues and just explained how toxic of a work environment she created… i could NEVER do anything right either. EVER. it sucked. 

the head of HR said he wished i had come to them sooner because they would have been able to help, or at least tried to help. chances are, you aren’t the only person in the company that knows there is something wrong with your boss. and if you have been doing your job and your otherwise well liked, HR might be able to help you. 

My HR department said without saying that they wish i would have come to them sooner bc a, i was very well liked within the company and b, there have been many “unofficial” complaints about my former boss and they wished they would have had something concrete to allow them to take action.

i think it also helped because i was very straighforward and not emotional and all that…i simply explained the reasons i couldn’t work under her and gave some examples of the unprofessional things she did/said. 

i know it’s a touchy thing and people feel HR are there to just cover the companies ass, but if your boss has done things that could even remotely possibly turn into a law suit, they will probably take you very seriously and fast track a transfer, even if it’s just to a different department. 

good luck! & i hope somehow, things get better!! 

Post # 12
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I don’t think it’s necessary to love your job, but I do think it’s necessary to feel okay to go in the morning. Life is too short for negative things that make you feel like this, including jobs. You say quitting isn’t an option. Why is that? I would start job hunting. 

Post # 13
3389 posts
Sugar bee

stardustintheeyes:  I’ll send positive vibes that you get the transfer!  In the mean time, I like julies1949‘s advice for you — you can’t change how this person acts, but you can decide how you will react to it.  I know its easier said than done, but try to make conscious choices to focus on other things when you feel yourself getting overwhelmed/upset.  

My suggestions: Make little notecards with positive attributes about yourself and your work that you can pull out and read when its tough.  Go take a bathroom break to splash some water on your face if you feel like crying.  Take a few deep breaths and imagine your stress leaving with each exhalation.  Set up a little treat for getting through each week, whether its getting happy hour with a friend on Friday, or buying a new nail polish for a mani, something that you can look forward to each week.  

Good luck 🙂 

Post # 14
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Misswhowedding:  THREE YEARS?

OMG you poor thing.   Is the 3 years up yet?

Post # 15
200 posts
Helper bee

stardustintheeyes:  I hear ya sister!  In a similar boat….but I keep telling myself “Dont get worked up about the stuff you have no control over.”  You can’t control your boss but you can control your work ethic, what you do and how you do it.  I’m not sure what the issues are with your situation and boss but chin up and fingers crossed about the transfer.  If you love your job you’re one of the lucky ones and should try to find a solution =)  

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