(Closed) What to do when you hate your job and quitting isn't an option?

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 16
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

gingerminty:  As I suggested to OP if she’s getting physically ill, she should leave regardless of her benefits, because I honestly don’t believe any job is worth being so stressed out that you can’t enjoy your time outside of work. 

I’ve had plenty of jobs that I enjoyed, and others not so much. One in particular was my job as a stylist. I felt like I HAD to stay because I went to school for hair, so therefore it was (in my head) a complete waste to not work as a stylist. The owners of the salon were terrible people, and I just couldn’t handle the stress of it all. When I lost my job I was still devastated, but now when I look back at it, I really wish I had left sooner.

I’m lucky enough to not absolutely hate my current jobs, of course it’s still not perfect, but even working 7 days a week I’m not burnt out, and I can still enjoy life outside of work. 

Post # 17
3464 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My boss is pretty much the scum at the bottom of the pond. My coworker and I get called into her office weekly and get yelled at for mostly nothing or anything stupid that she can come up with. We’ve gone to HR and nothing gets better. I hope things get better for you! Try to last until April if you want to stay at the job, otherwise start applying and get out! It isn’t worth it! I’m in grad school part time so in August I have to get another job so I can do my internship, but until then I either suck it up and die on the inside lol or hope I can get a different job! Fingers crossed..

Post # 18
6524 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

stardustintheeyes:  ugh, sounds like you work for someone i used to work for.

i hated my job, i hated my job to the point that i was on my way to work and contemplated jumping in front of the train. thats how bad it was. Thats also the day that i decided that enough is enough. I called up the employment agency that helped me get this job and told them everything that was going on and I don’t know what came over me but I literally broke down, and the agent told me that she wished i had called her sooner because what he is doing is illegal. Thankfully, in less than 1 month, I was at a new job and I couldn’t have been more thankful because I found the job 2 months prior to my wedding and they hired me knowing I would be taking off for 2 weeks, they even gave me a wedding gift.

I know its easier said than done, but I would start looking for a new job and not leave the one your at until you have a new one. Unless you have enough money in savings to leave and focus fulltime on getting a new job. I was not in a position to do that because I was paying rent, saving for a wedding, etc.

Post # 21
723 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

That really sucks, I’m sorry.

I would challenge you though on the not being able to leave your job thing. From what I gather, you’re only 31–do you plan on staying at that same organization for the rest of your life? There’s nothing wrong with that, but the things that you mention may be available elsewhere, if you push for them. If I were you, I would start putting feelers out just to investigate what might be available. It can’t hurt to look.

Regardless, have you been to HR? Sounds like they may need to intervene, esp if nobody else wants to work for your boss. I hope another position comes up soon for you!

ETA: You imply that you haven’t finished your degree but you only have a year left–might you be able work on finishing your degree while at your job? I don’t like that you are so trapped in this job. Nobody should feel like they don’t have options. Maybe having just one class a week will make you feel more in control of your future & open up options for you even 5 years down the line, if you find yourself in a similar position at a different department.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by  .
Post # 22
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had a terrible job that made me ill too. Towards the end I constantly had headaches, stomach issues, and chest pain. I quit because it wasn’t worth my health (thankfully, I had some money saved). That was two months ago and I’m still looking, but I’m getting interviews.

Since you said you put in for a transfer I’m guessing that you would be open to leaving your job for another one? I’d make a plan. Start by updating your resume. The blog Ask a Manager has some great tips for how to improve your resume. Then start hunting. Even if your first few applications suck, it’s important to get practice. My resume/cover letters have gotten soooo much better over the years that I’ve been job hunting–and I’m getting more interviews to show for it. 

Good luck! 

Post # 23
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

stardustintheeyes:  I understand.   What a crappy situation about you not being able to quit.

I 100% hear you about not being comfortable about not giving 110% on the job.  That’s how I was. So when people tell you “get in, get out, do the bare minimum” I can’t really function like that.  No judgment – it’s not like I’m some superwoman who must be perfect at all times – it just gives me anxiety to know that I only did the minimum….not sure why.

I assume you’re the same way.  Best of luck to you.

Post # 24
273 posts
Helper bee

stardustintheeyes:  urgh I can totally sympathise with you here.  My last job I had the worst manager ever, he was vile.  It was his first management role having been promoted from the job I was doing so he was super over critical about anything I did because it wasn’t what he used to do.  I was obviously his little project because he would constantly give me ‘development’ tasks to do which were pointless and I was underprepared for – like giving a presentation at the senior management meeting on a topic that had very little to do with my role.  He would nit pick about everything including how often I went to the bathroom!!!  That was my breaking point he just wanted to control everything I was doing.  At the end of every day he wanted a break down of what I had done that day, at the start of every day he had to set me tasks.  I hate being micromanaged and have always managed my own workload in previous roles so this was torture for me and felt so patronising.  He would constantly pull me up for not working late (he expected me to stay at least an extra half hour every day) and if I left on time he wouldn’t even acknowledge me saying goodnight.  He was pathetic and swore constantly (I hate swearing in the workplace btw).  I used to feel sick and get upset on a Sunday because I knew the weekend was nearly over and used to feel sick driving to work.  I’m so glad I left as now I am in a better job for a more reputable company.  I am earning on more money, working for a much more pleasant manager and have had 2 promotions since starting here just over a year ago.  I really hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you.

Post # 26
2838 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

stardustintheeyes:  Sorry you’re experiencing this. I worked with a woman who bullied me and did a horrible job that I always ended up fixing for SIX years. I only escaped because I found a completely different position within the same company. I couldn’t quit at the time because the company was paying for my college tuition.  It was really hard and I definitely did cry on occasion. It’s really hard to work for or with a difficult person.  I hope it doesn’t take you six years to find peace in your work life!

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