Post # 1
I personally want to feel very classy and sophisticated on my wedding day, Almost black-tie you can call it if you will. Even elegant.
and my dress doesn’t give me this feeling, and I really need some advice. I feel like noone will listen to me and my concerns. I showed Future Mother-In-Law the dress and she told me it was so classy and I don’t think it’s classy at all.I know I post alot about dress issues but I really need someone to listen and weigh in their opinions.. that is not involved in the wedding or the intital dress purchase (I bought it off the rack for $150.) and is not giving us any money at all for it. I feel like everyone that knows I bought the dress is saying I should keep it because I have it and should just suck it up.
When I put this dress on I get the “sexy” feeling and the feeling that it’s a very laidback gown, and not the way I want to feel on my wedding. I want to feel classy and sophisticated, not sexy.
I dunno if my concerns are just stupid or completely irrational and I should just stick with the dress I have and suck it up, or keep looking. I thought about getting it altered to make it the way I want but I don’t know where to start with that because I’m facing so much craziness over wedding stuff – I’m the first one of my friends to be engaged, and the first of my parent’s kids to get married, and I really feel like everyone is pulling me in seperate ways, when I finally make a decision they make me second-guess it!
I need some much-needed advice that I’m getting nowhere else!
and i totally don’t know how this got into the grooms/men section! Augh!
Edit: Added Pictures.
I thought about getting a modesty panel put in (too much cleavage for my liking!) and more beading on the bottom, but I have no idea where to start with possibly doing this and Im wondering if its so expensive to do that, would I be better off just buying a different dress? The bottom is just SO bland. I can’t stand it. the lighting makes the dress look a different color but it’s diamond white. I thought about getting crinoline underneath to give it a little body because I love how colored crinoline looks, and when the train isn’t spread out nicely (like how my mom tried to do it in the pictures that it actually looks white) I feel like I have a cottage cheese butt.
I have alot of insecurities about it I think. I don’t know! I just need some help!
Post # 3
Can you post a picture of you in your dress? It’s hard to say much without seeing you in it so we can say if your impressions match ours?
Post # 5
This dress definitely needs a crinoline – it isn’t hanging right at all without one. A colored one would be fun! I think you should do that. But I disagree that the dress is too sexy. If I were going for a “sexy” look I would not even look twice at that dress. To me it is very tasteful and traditional.
Post # 6
I think your dress is classy. I wouldn’t call it bland at all. But there’s nothing anyone can tell you that will make you feel different in the dress. You’re going to have to decide that for yourself. Good luck! Maybe a nice bracelet will help you feel better about the whole ensemble. Accessories can really make your look.
Post # 7
I agree, it is not what I would consider a sexy dress. I was expecting a super tight mermaid/trumpet when you said you thought it was too sexy.
If you really can’t stand it then it doesn’t hurt to shop around, especially if it makes you feel uncomfortable/immodest. To me, it isn’t immodest, but everyone has different opinions on that.
Post # 8
It’s classy and I see NO cleavage lol so I think you are ok there! If you are really unhappy just buy a new one after all $150 is not to much of a loss!
Post # 9
Adding a crinoline should be a pretty easy and inexpensive fix (lots of bees have found crinolines for cheap! and you could try a DIY dye job on it if you like the pop of color.) You’d have to ask a seamstress to be sure, but adding a modesty panel would also be pretty inexpensive I would think.
Adding beading will probably run you a little more though. You can find the strips of beading at bridal stores that make it so you aren’t sewing on each individual bead though which should help with cost.
Personally, I don’t see your dress as sexy; I think its a very classy look. But what it really boils down to is if YOU are comfortable in the dress. If not and if you aren’t sure that the changes you described will truely help things, go look at other dresses. You want to make sure that you are comfortable with the way you look for your wedding. You have lots of time between now and then to explore other options if that makes you more comfortable!
Post # 10
I don’t think “sexy” at all when I see that dress, and if I wanted sexy, I wouldn’t even consider it. If you are so unhappy about your dress, then go and try some others on. See what you like about them, if its something you can add to your dress or not. Maybe even buy a new dress all together if you can afford it.
Post # 11
Hmmm, to be totally honest it certainly is a lovely dress but I think you could find something more flattering… I am never a fan of the halter look, I always think of a bikini top for some reason. it’s hard to walk away from it since you got a good deal, I know the feeling! It’s definitely not a laid-back gown – look at that train! (the train is gorgeous, and don’t worry about cottage cheese butt, when you are walking down the aisle the train would be very nicely spread out before hand, and immediately after the ceremony it will be bustled). DEFINITELY get a crinoline, and I would say definitely do NOT get beading put on…
Don’t feel pressured to stick with it if you really don’t like it, but if this IS the dress you end up wearing, rest assured you will still look lovely in it!!
Post # 12
Im just super insecure because I am overweight I think. I don’t like showing alot of cleavage and The dress does have a built in-bra,but I need to wear a bra anyway and the strapless bra i have shows with the dress, so thats why I thought about a modesty panel. I went to lunch with my two aunts and grandma and mom last week and said I wanted crinoline and they shot down my idea in five seconds and said I don’t want to look bigger blah blah blah, but my butt looks so bad without anything there, I don’t want a hoop skirt which is why I decided to go with the colored crinoline (I’m also changing out the corset strings to black strings because i want some color pops) but my grandma offered to alter it so we would save money, but I know she would not do what I want done to it.
Im not super sure about showing that much back either..Especially since my wedding is in October in western PA! Late october! I’m so worried about it being freezing, even with me getting a fur jacket (like a 3/4 sleeve) , and fur shrugs for the BMs
Post # 13
First advice is DO NOT DISCUSS your initial plans with family and friends especially if they tend to be critical. Usually they dont get what you are saying and think you are crazy. A Lot of my ideas were originally shot down by my mom but once I showed her pictures of what I was talking about she LOVED it.
Post # 14
A curvy girl deserves a knock-out dress. If you’re unhappy, go for another dress. It’s all about how you look and how your dress makes you feel. I certainly dont think its the most flattering on you, but I am confident you will find one that will make you feel like the princess you are!
Post # 15
It sounds like you’ve got lots of quibbles about the dress. Any one of them we could refute but together they might be asking too much for you to deal with for a $150 dress. Honestly I would put this on the shelf for awhile. Your wedding is more than a year away. Revisit the dress situation this winter or early spring 2011. It will give you some psychological distance from the matter to figure out if you want to alter the dress or just start over.
Post # 16
- Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club
I hope you don’t mind if I speak to you as a fellow plus-size bride, but I think I know what you are going through (I wrote some posts about how, as plus-size brides, we are relegated to the “bottom of the pile” when it comes to stylish wedding dresses, and how I almost gave up the dress I wanted because of listening to outside influences). I discussed it at length in this post (and a few of my others). Mrs. Kiwi also talked about it eloquently here.
As far as “classy & elegant but not sexy,” those are almost my words exactly. I ended up with a strapless dress, but the seamstress built it so that it covers me very well and goes up high — it actually covers me more than a standard v-neck or halter or whatever everybody tried to get me to wear.
I custom-designed my dress so I could get exactly what I wanted, and I don’t recommend that to everyone unless you want to, and can find a good seamstress. But maybe you could find a great bridal shop that’s willing to work with you on the vision you want for your wedding day. What are your dream dresses?
Many upscale or “stylish” designers make dresses that go up to a larger size, they just don’t advertise it. You won’t be able to try it on, but a good bridal shop will help you find the right design for your body type.
Maggie Sottero is a great designer and the “real brides” section of her website features women of many different sizes/shapes. Allure Bridals also makes beautiful dresses that go up to a 32W. Casablanca will also custom-build a dress in any size.
My advice to you is to allow yourself to dream about what you truly want, don’t listen to outside influences, and don’t worry about looking “bigger.” (a) if a dress flatters you, you’ll just look like “you,” not bigger or wider or whatever and (b) so what if you do, you’ll be beautiful and happy in your dress!
Feel free to P.M. me if you want to talk more! 🙂