(Closed) What to do when your dress doesn’t make you feel classy or sophisticated?

posted 8 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Can you post a picture of you in your dress?  It’s hard to say much without seeing you in it so we can say if your impressions match ours?

Post # 4
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Picture pls

Post # 5
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

This dress definitely needs a crinoline – it isn’t hanging right at all without one. A colored one would be fun! I think you should do that. But I disagree that the dress is too sexy. If I were going for a “sexy” look I would not even look twice at that dress. To me it is very tasteful and traditional.

Post # 6
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

I think your dress is classy. I wouldn’t call it bland at all. But there’s nothing anyone can tell you that will make you feel different in the dress. You’re going to have to decide that for yourself. Good luck! Maybe a nice bracelet will help you feel better about the whole ensemble. Accessories can really make your look.

Post # 7
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree, it is not what I would consider a sexy dress. I was expecting a super tight mermaid/trumpet when you said you thought it was too sexy.

If you really can’t stand it then it doesn’t hurt to shop around, especially if it makes you feel uncomfortable/immodest. To me, it isn’t immodest, but everyone has different opinions on that.

Post # 8
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It’s classy and I see NO cleavage lol so I think you are ok there! If you are really unhappy just buy a new one after all $150 is not to much of a loss!

Post # 9
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Adding a crinoline should be a pretty easy and inexpensive fix (lots of bees have found crinolines for cheap! and you could try a DIY dye job on it if you like the pop of color.)  You’d have to ask a seamstress to be sure, but adding a modesty panel would also be pretty inexpensive I would think.

Adding beading will probably run you a little more though.  You can find the strips of beading at bridal stores that make it so you aren’t sewing on each individual bead though which should help with cost.

Personally, I don’t see your dress as sexy; I think its a very classy look.  But what it really boils down to is if YOU are comfortable in the dress.  If not and if you aren’t sure that the changes you described will truely help things, go look at other dresses.  You want to make sure that you are comfortable with the way you look for your wedding.  You have lots of time between now and then to explore other options if that makes you more comfortable!

Post # 10
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think “sexy” at all when I see that dress, and if I wanted sexy, I wouldn’t even consider it. If you are so unhappy about your dress, then go and try some others on. See what you like about them, if its something you can add to your dress or not. Maybe even buy a new dress all together if you can afford it.

Post # 11
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Hmmm, to be totally honest it certainly is a lovely dress but I think you could find something more flattering… I am never a fan of the halter look, I always think of a bikini top for some reason. it’s hard to walk away from it since you got a good deal, I know the feeling! It’s definitely not a laid-back gown – look at that train! (the train is gorgeous, and don’t worry about cottage cheese butt, when you are walking down the aisle the train would be very nicely spread out before hand, and immediately after the ceremony it will be bustled). DEFINITELY get a crinoline, and I would say definitely do NOT get beading put on…

Don’t feel pressured to stick with it if you really don’t like it, but if this IS the dress you end up wearing, rest assured you will still look lovely in it!!

Post # 13
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

First advice is DO NOT DISCUSS your initial plans with family and friends especially if they tend to be critical. Usually they dont get what you are saying and think you are crazy. A Lot of my ideas were originally shot down by my mom but once I showed her pictures of what I was talking about she LOVED it.

Post # 14
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

A curvy girl deserves a knock-out dress. If you’re unhappy, go for another dress. It’s all about how you look and how your dress makes you feel. I certainly dont think its the most flattering on you, but I am confident you will find one that will make you feel like the princess you are!

Post # 15
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

It sounds like you’ve got lots of quibbles about the dress. Any one of them we could refute but together they might be asking too much for you to deal with for a $150 dress. Honestly I would put this on the shelf for awhile. Your wedding is more than a year away. Revisit the dress situation this winter or early spring 2011. It will give you some psychological distance from the matter to figure out if you want to alter the dress or just start over.

Post # 16
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club

I hope you don’t mind if I speak to you as a fellow plus-size bride, but I think I know what you are going through (I wrote some posts about how, as plus-size brides, we are relegated to the “bottom of the pile” when it comes to stylish wedding dresses, and how I almost gave up the dress I wanted because of listening to outside influences). I discussed it at length in this post (and a few of my others). Mrs. Kiwi also talked about it eloquently here.

As far as “classy & elegant but not sexy,” those are almost my words exactly. I ended up with a strapless dress, but the seamstress built it so that it covers me very well and goes up high — it actually covers me more than a standard v-neck or halter or whatever everybody tried to get me to wear.

I custom-designed my dress so I could get exactly what I wanted, and I don’t recommend that to everyone unless you want to, and can find a good seamstress. But maybe you could find a great bridal shop that’s willing to work with you on the vision you want for your wedding day. What are your dream dresses?

Many upscale or “stylish” designers make dresses that go up to a larger size, they just don’t advertise it. You won’t be able to try it on, but a good bridal shop will help you find the right design for your body type.

Maggie Sottero is a great designer and the “real brides” section of her website features women of many different sizes/shapes. Allure Bridals also makes beautiful dresses that go up to a 32W. Casablanca will also custom-build a dress in any size.

My advice to you is to allow yourself to dream about what you truly want, don’t listen to outside influences, and don’t worry about looking “bigger.” (a) if a dress flatters you, you’ll just look like “you,” not bigger or wider or whatever and (b) so what if you do, you’ll be beautiful and happy in your dress!

Feel free to P.M. me if you want to talk more! 🙂

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