(Closed) What to do when your SO hates their job

posted 6 years ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

He needs to start seriously looking for a new job, and quit before he’s fired. Does he have any contact with former professors who could write him letters of recommendation or might know of networking opportunities?

Post # 4
Member
7887 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Does he have a mentor at work? Maybe things will get better since it’s only been 2 months. Also, it might be awkward to have a new job on the CV that only lasted a few months although I suppose he could just leave it out.

Post # 6
Member
9149 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
kelised:  Most people go through periods of hating their job, especially early jobs shortly out of college. Those tend to be the learning ones and can knock out the stars that the Career Planning & Placement office put in our eyes about how awesome it’s going to be after graduation. Can he apply for full-time work at the company where he did his internship? If not, I recommend sticking it out for another project or two and if they’re just as bad as this one, he should make time for a new job search. Best wishes!

Post # 7
Member
1939 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - City, State

Could you get a second job to help out in case something bad happens?

Post # 8
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

How long is this specific project?  If it’s only for another month, I’d tell him to stick it out and see if it gets better. I always go try and stick it out for 3 months.  If I hate it after that, then I know it’s probably not meant to be.

From experience, one of my first jobs, I hated the first two months. We were literally thrown out there with less than a day of training, and I got yelled at by many clients. My boss (thankfully left soon after) told me on my birthday that he probably would be firing me soon. Then things shifted and I stuck it out. Although not a career path, I still work for the company 9 years later, and I met DH because of that job.  On the other end of it, last spring I graduated from college and found a job a week later. Sounded great in the interview, got to the job and I hated it.  I stuck it out for 8 months before my husband told me for my mental health, I needed to leave.   

Either way, I’d see about applying to other jobs in the meantime, even if it’s just one or two a week. If he can carve out any free time, even on his lunch hour, it’s a step in the right direction.

If I’ve learned anything, a toxic work envionment is worse then having little to no money.

Post # 9
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

View original reply
kelised:  I was in this sittuation that both of you have both been in!!!,

I understand other posts on here are saying he might feel like this at first..your SO seems like an smart person and you know if you are been taken advantage of or not, thats not just getting used to an enviroment.. if you are been treated poorly and unfairy, its not right and its not something you should have to put up with, not when its affecting him like this.

I am a university graduate I found a job in graphic design as a junior, like you mentioned in the interview it seemed GREAT.. came to the real job and I was treated unfairly, underpaid, overworked, working stupid hours with no breaks.. from what i’ve seen a lot of creative and degree based jobs can be like this as they have big deadlines and clients.. But I didn’t think i’d be treated so bad that I would become bullied by older staff.

I was losing weight, coming home in tears I felt like my life had been taken over.

My husband demanded that I quit for my own health and mental health and its not something he would say lightly..When I had a 8.30am – 9pm day one evening with no breaks or screen breaks he could see how much it was taking out of me and not even been paid for the extra hours.

I quit the job  – it was the best thing I’ve ever done, Its taken me a long time to find a new job, I worked in retail for a while after this and enjoyed it more than my horrible job! and  now I’ve found a new job not in my degree field but Its a job I know I will be happy in the role, no deadlines, good pay and just generally enjoyable. Its a big shame that work places take advtange of graduates but I know its very common.

Just tell him to start looking for something new, If he quits do you guys have the money to live off whilst he searches for something else?

I completly agree, no job is worth any of this, thats how I felt. At the time you just feel so lucky to be given a job in your field, i know i did and the work place know that you feel lucky and use that by taking advantage of you.

I kind of feel I wasted 4 years studying to get a job in admin..but for me been happy is more important than what kind of job it is and i’d rather be out of that deadline business atmsophere. 

You lasted longer than I did, i only lasted 2 months!

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  Mrstobe26.
  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  Mrstobe26.
Post # 10
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

My husband is downright miserable at his job right now. He has been there for 13 years and it’s been a slippery slope for the past year or so, they cut his benefits and are over-working him like crazy. The only thing I can recommend is being there for him and let him vent to you and support him in whatever decisions he needs to make. Mine is currently looking for a new job and while it’s a little scary (he makes good money where he is now) I can’t stand the toll it’s taking on him and I just want him to be happy.

Post # 11
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

View original reply
kelised:  Small comapny that grows quickly and more business than workers – EXCATLY WHAT HAPPEND TO ME. only me and another designer and we had so much work coming in from high profile clients and then work coming from other people in the business..just horrible!

Post # 12
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
kelised:  Ok… I’m in IT Project Management so I can relate to what he’s dealing with. I doubt he’s working long unpaid nights… but he’s probably salary and the work just involves overtime work he doesn’t get compensated for, correct? It’s a painful part of corporate work. IT companies can be the best and worst to work for. High pressure and stress, but then there can also be a lot of perks depending on the company….. but those perks can be misleading and are aimed to keep you more productive at work. We have a barista. No need to get caught in a long starbucks line on the way to work. Free catered lunch twice a week? You end up taking a shorter break because you don’t leave the building. But we do still have awesome holiday parties, spring flings, fall fest with costume contests, games, etc. 

But when it comes to work, the games are over. One project can completely change your work/life balance and perception of your job. It may or may not be indicative of how things are run at the company.

Those jobs pay well because they are difficult and demanding, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting more work/life balance.  

Also, some companies are great, they just dont excel at training, and when you figure it out, it’s so much better.

But no matter what happens, you need to be supportive. Maybe not in a “quit if you don’t like it” way, especially if you can’t afford it, but maybe you can get on LinkedIn and apply for jobs for him. Cook him dinner, pack lunches to bring to work that he can eat at his desk, clean more around your apt. 

Post # 14
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
kelised:  Yeah, my work load is really heavy right now. The project work is feast or famine. I got started while my company was expanding, but was an admin so I wasn’t thrown in immediately. I still feel that way a little now, and unfortunately, its a world where things don’t go to plan so it’s going to be a figure it out as you go thing.

I have account managers promise timelines we honestly can’t deliver and sell technologies we haven’t ventured into before and I’m left smoothing it out with my team and the customer and keep it all in budget. Its a tough industry. It really is. But the best part about my job is my co-workers. I have a great mentor, she’s always got my back and will assist and support me. The company as a whole is geared at helping get things done. Yeah, one account manager promised a customer yesterday we could start Monday without any resources or materials ready, but I talked with our team today. We figured out a plan. I’m talking to the customer (who luckily loves me) and we’re going to be fine starting 2 days later). If you SO doesn’t have that… yeah, a barista and snack bar won’t cut it at all.

Post # 15
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I’m in a similar situation. My SO moved with me to Hawaii after we graduated from college and he got a job as a security guard. He hated his job because he was embarrassed that he was a security guard when he just graduated with a Criminal Justice degree. He applied for the Police Department, but was rejected because he admitted that he smoked weed in college a year ago and didn’t want to lie about it like everyone else does (I still don’t understand why this is such a big deal). He also struggled with adjusting to Hawaii because as a haole, a lot of people discriminate against him. What I did in this situation was talk to him about everything he was feeling. Anything he needed to vent about, I was there to listen and give him advice. When he got home for work I would make sure he had something to eat and drink (his beverage of choice was beer). That’s pretty much all I could do, but I feel that it helped a lot. He was happy when he came home and that’s the only thing you can really control in this situation. Since then he has found a better job, which he isn’t completely happy with either but we’re making it work.

The topic ‘What to do when your SO hates their job’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors