Post # 1
Hello hive! I just read another thread about a bride who returned her aunt and uncle’s’s gift with a snotty note indicating that she didn’t like it and had therefore decided to send it back to the aunt and uncle.
That sound you hear is Emily Post rolling in her grave.
But this bride’s thoughtlessness did get me thinking about a common dilemma brides and grooms face after the wedding. What do you do when a loved one has given you a thoughtful gift that simply isn’t to your taste, and you can’t return it? Do you hide it in the closet (maybe bringing it out when they visit)? Re-gift it to someone who doesn’t know the giver? Find a way to incorporate it into your home decor anyway? Or is there another, better road to take?
So far my husband and I haven’t received anything we don’t love, but if we do, I’ll probably hide it in the closet!
Post # 3
I think that once someone gives you a gift you should be grateful and make them feel good about it, no matter what you think about it. Beyond that, I do not think you have to use something in your home on a daily basis that you dislike because you received it as a gift. If the giver will come to your home frequently and you CAN keep the item around and use it when they are there, you will make that person feel wonderful, but if chances are small that they will ever see you use the item, just re-gift it to someone who will enjoy it more or donate it to a group that can use it. For example if it’s nice but just not your taste, give it to a charity raffle.
Post # 4
Yeah, I agree. If it’s from someone you’ll be seeing frequently (and i’ts something like a punch bowl), I think it behooves you to hold onto it and use it occassionally when they come over. They’ll think it’s weird if you never use it, right?
I got some towels and some little kitchen fat french chef butter knives, a chocolate platter, some 80’s style corningware, etc, that I don’t like. I wouldn’t regift it (it’s just not that good of a gift) and what I could return (the towels, some picture frames not my style, etc) I exchanged for a gift card and I got stuff I’d use. I didn’t have to worry about these people coming over, though…I’ll probably see them just a handful of times over the next 10 years! So it was ok. I”m appreciative, but I’m not going to put up something in my house that isn’t my taste just b/c it was a gift.
Garage sale for some of the other items. Still don’t know where this 80’s corningware came from…..It may end up at Goodwill, too
I’d NEVER return it to the gifter, lol. That’s just ludicrous and screams “i’m a piece of trash with no manners”. GAH.
Post # 5
Omg … what that bride did is so awful … I’ve never even dreamed of something like that.
I plan on sending a personal thank you note for each gift I get … even if I don’tlike it because it’s the thought that counts. If I don’t like a gift I guess I’ll keep it in a storage closet … until they visit and use it in front of them … lol or not. I haven’t thought about this.
I wouldn’t return it to the gifter though! My gosh. I don’t think I could re-gift either. It would be too weird.
Post # 6
Okay, never ever have I or will I return a gift to the giver. Typically if we receive something we just can’t deal with, we either re-gift (if it’s regiftable quality) or donate it. The exception we’ve made to that is a set of TV infomercial knives that FI’s grandparents gave us. These are the worst knives in the world; they actually make a warping sound when you shake them. The reason we’ve kept them (in the garage) is because FI’s grandmother always, always inquires as to the whereabouts of any present she has ever given and becomes quite distressed if she can’t find the gift she’s given. So… we have to keep the crappy knife set. A tip to gift givers, never, ever inquire as to how your gift is being used. It can cause great distress in the recipient!
Post # 7
First, I would send a thank you card as long as their gift wasn’t rude in and of itself.
Where I live closet space is at a premium so I would ask a few people unknown to the giver if they wanted it and then just throw it away. I wouldn’t regift a terrible gift because why put that distress on someone else. Regifting something bad is too tacky.
Not using it should get the message across without being explicitly rude (saying so, or giving it back) that I didn’t like the gift (and please don’t waste your money again on something similar).
Post # 8
Cheerful, I had to laugh at your story about the knives … my dad bought a set of those knives when I was a teenager, and they are indeed crappy! We still tease him about being so gullible (he bought them after seeing a demo at the mall that made them look really cool).
Agreed on the “don’t ask, don’t tell” post-gift policy. If you know the couple received the gift, and you got a thank-you note for it, that ends your involvement with said gift. Don’t ask if they’re using it or demand to see it when you visit!
Post # 9
I think it depends on the relationship with the giver. Sometimes I get gifts and the person says “there is a receipt there if you want to exchange it”. If its something non returnable and there is a chance the giver might stop by in the next few years … I’d find space in a closet and eventually (if its never used) either sell it, regift it or give it to charity.
Post # 10
It depends on the gift giver and the gift. If it was from a parent/sibling/close friend, I would probably keep it and display/use it for a short time. If it was from someone we don’t know well, I’d probably keep it in the closet for awhile and then donate it to Goodwill unless someone I know would really like it. Then I’d just give it to them. I’m not a big fan of regifting.
Post # 11
ive had this problem before – with well meaning gifts from my dear sweet mother that i have no interest in or use for.
what i do is hide them inthe closet (she lives faraway and doesnt visit often) for a year or so and then donate to charity or regift. that way, i feel like ive hung onto whatever it is so that if i suddenly change my mind and want to use some of the items in the “wild wild west hostess” gift basket she made for me (no, not a joke), id have them on hand. but after a year, i dont feel bad getting rid of things since ive kept it a requisite amount of time.
i know this is no different than regifting or donating right away, but it soothes my conscience. mommy dearest puts so much effort into these cute things and i just couldnt bear to get rid of them right away!!!
Post # 12
we’ve gotten a few wedding gifts that are um….. a required taste
costs me nothing but time & a smile to say thank you very much (which i follow up with a thankyou card) and then hide them in the garage until i can re-gift them or accidently break it
Post # 13
We got a candle display at our House Warming party from my best friend’s mom and while I really liked it, my SO hated it! It was girly, glittery, smelled good (meaning, he would feel like less of a man! lol) so, anyway, it is currently in our extra bedroom not being used, taking up room. I would have NEVER even thought of giving it back to my friends mom! I will use it for the fall to sit on our coffee table since its reds and browns and will go with our decor even though he HATES it!