(Closed) What to do with an uninvited friend wanting to give a gift?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would probably not. You are right it is too late.

Post # 4
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you don’t feel comfortable sending her an invite, then don’t feel obligated to. Don’t let anyone bully you into something you aren’t comfortable with. Accept the gift graciously and leave it at that. Future Mother-In-Law should not be forcing her friends on your wedding, especially last minute when the invites have already gone out. If your Future Mother-In-Law was the bride, that would be a different story but since she isn’t, just smile, nod and move on. At this point in time, you need to start collecting replies and tracking down people who “forgot” to get a headcount together for your vendors so it is way too late to send out more invites.

Post # 5
Member
15 posts
Newbee

I wouldn’t worry about it.  Just send a nice thank you card and thank her in person the next time you see her.

My parents have been sending gifts to all of my childhood/high school friends when they get married, and they’ve only been invited to one wedding so far.  My mother has also helped throw bridal showers for her friends’ daughters even though she does not expect to be invited to their weddings.

 

Post # 6
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m with everyone else, don’t invite her if you don’t want her invited.  We’re having an extremely small wedding, and not even inviting some extended family.  If someone uninvited asks, or sends a gift – graciously thank them for thinking of you, and let them know the wedding was only for people you are close to. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You don’t have to send her an invite. If someone wants to give you a gift, you accept graciously and send a thank you card. 

I come from a fairly well off community and my parents send gifts to friends’, neighbors’ and coworkers children that they’ve never met, because they think its polite.  There’s never any necessity for an invite though.

Post # 8
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree with the other posts, you don’t need to send an invite to someone in exchange for a gift!

Post # 9
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

yes don’t send the invite, its too last minute and it would be a problem if she rsvp yes

Post # 10
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Do not send an invite, especially if you cannot afford this person as a guest and you did not intend to invite them in the first place. Last minute add-ons such as this (if you did invite them out of obligation) are one of the main things that drive up the costs of weddings.

Accept the gift graciously and send a prompt thank you note. That’s it.

Post # 11
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree–you don’t need to invite her. If she does send a gift, a nice thank you note is enough.

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