Post # 1
Please give me your opinions. What would you do?
I have an old engagement ring from my ex. We were only engaged for about a year. We were young (21) and we have a 5 year old son together. We are not on good terms and are currently battling it out in family court. The ring doesn’t hold good memories for me
The diamond is beautiful but small. He paid about $1000 for it.Round Brilliant – Canadian Diamond with Certification0.31 caratsVS1/VS2H/I colorVery Good cut
Option 1: Sell it for $315? This is the price I’ve been offered by someone. This is higher than the cost of selling the diamond and gold separately to a diamond/gold buyer. They only offered me $260. Based on Ebay and online sellers, I think $315 is the best I could get for it.
Option 2: Getting it re-set as a pendant. However, that will cost me $150+ just for the labor, not even including the setting itself.
Option 3: Keep it to give to my son later on. However, it came from a broken relationship and I personally wouldn’t want him to pass it on to his future fiance since it was from our failed relationship.
Option 4: Just hang on to it for now.
Here’s a pic:
Post # 3
If he still has a good relationship with his father then you should save it for him
Post # 4
I’m actually having the same dilemma. I say sell it. It holds no sentimental value and quicker you can get rid of it the better.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
It has bad memmories attached, and it’s from a relationship that didn’t last… That’s not the kind of thing you want to carry around with you (pendant) or pass on to your child.
Sell it, and use the money for something that will make you and your son happy NOW. No reason to dwell on the past value of the ring, just like there’s no reason to dwell on the past value of the relationship.
Post # 6
I had the same dilemna. The 1/3 ct doesn’t make a good pennant, it’s a bit too small and doesn’t show up nicely.
Sell it and spend the money on something memorable, your son won’t want it.
Post # 7
Honestly it depends on who called off the engagement, because in many (maybe most) states, you may legally be obligated to return it. He may not want it now but if he ever gets a bee in his bonnet, you might end up on Judge Judy. I would either return it to the ex straight off, or make very sure that there is no legal obligation (and some of that stuff gets very murky) then sell it.
If you had broken off the engagement because you got cold feet, in most states he could sue for return of the ring or its replacement value if you don’t have it any more.
If he breaks off the engagement because he got cold feet, in most states you can keep it and do whatever you want with it.
Pretty much everything else is in between so I’d try to find some prior cases on the public record in the jurisdiction(s) where you lived when you got engaged and when you split up to find one that matches your scenario.
Post # 8
I am sorry I disagree with my fellow bees my daughter always wanted the rings that I received from her father (broken relationship) but they were stolen when our house was broken into. She wanted it because it reminded her of the happiness that her father and I once had together and it was a sad day when she knew it was gone. Let your son make up his mind if he wants it and if not then sell it at that point.
Post # 9
Looks like it has some “history” for you, but not enough that you feel YOU HAVE TO GET RID OF IT… and therefore aren’t open to having it reset into something else.
So I say hold onto it for now.
My previous E-Ring (first marriage) had a 0.30 Carat Diamond, so I know that it is quite modest in size (but not ummm invisible)
As the saying goes, “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend”… so eventually you might want to do something nice with it, maybe add it with some other gems (that you either buy… or end up with over the course of time).
A diamond (kind of) holds its value / charm over time … so although you would find putting out the cost for a reset now rather prohibitive, you might not in the future. And could do something more special with it
OR as you’ve suggested, hold onto it to give to your son (whether he uses the ring, or has the diamond reset for a gift for his future wife, etc)
IMO, in the end you’ll be farther ahead than taking the deep discount money you’ll get for it on the “second hand resale market”
Post # 10
Bad memories = sell it.
Your son won’t miss it. If you never mention it, the thought will probably never even cross his mind that it existed.
If you want it to benefit your son, put the money you get into a college fund or savings account of some sort.
My FI’s grandmother is trying to get us to use the cake topper from his parent’s wedding. Their marriage lasted barely a year. That’s just bad icky karma that I don’t want around. Why this woman kept this thing in a fancy mirrored display cabinet for nearly 30 years is beyond me. 🙂
Post # 11
I sold my wedding set from my first marriage. As a newly single mother, it was a good financial shot in the arm when I needed it most. I had considered keeping the main stone to set in a pendant (it was a beautiful 1.17ct oval, so so so lovely) but in the end, it wasn’t something I wanted to look at every day.
Post # 13
When my sister called off the engagment, she found out she was pregnant, so she decided to keep a box of stuff for him when he got older. And that included her ring.
Post # 14
I’m having the same issue. My ex and I are not on good terms, but we have a son together. My current Fiance told me to sell my rings but I really want to let my son decide when he gets older.
Post # 15
I am personally leaning towards selling it, but I’m so torn. I have to decide by today because the ebay listing I listed ends today!
My current husband would also prefer me to sell it I think. Thank you for all your opinions. Keep em coming… please!
Post # 16
Etiquette wise it is returned to the giver regardless of who broke it off.
In some states, by law it is considered a conditional gift and until the condition of marriage is met it belongs to the giver. Sorry 🙁