What to do with engagement ring from ex? Sell or keep? HELP!

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: What would you do with an old e-ring from your ex?
    Sell it for 1/3 of the original price : (151 votes)
    62 %
    Spend $200-300 to have it reset as a pendant : (10 votes)
    4 %
    Keep it to give to my son in the future : (50 votes)
    20 %
    Keep it stashed and forget about it for now : (33 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4713 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 1998

    If he still has a good relationship with his father then you should save it for him

    Post # 4
    Member
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I’m actually having the same dilemma.  I say sell it.  It holds no sentimental value and quicker you can get rid of it the better. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    3471 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    It has bad memmories attached, and it’s from a relationship that didn’t last… That’s not the kind of thing you want to carry around with you (pendant) or pass on to your child. 

    Sell it, and use the money for something that will make you and your son happy NOW.  No reason to dwell on the past value of the ring, just like there’s no reason to dwell on the past value of the relationship.  

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    3374 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I had the same dilemna. The 1/3 ct doesn’t make a good pennant, it’s a bit too small and doesn’t show up nicely.

    Sell it and spend the money on something memorable, your son won’t want it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3885 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Honestly it depends on who called off the engagement, because in many (maybe most) states, you may legally be obligated to return it. He may not want it now but if he ever gets a bee in his bonnet, you might end up on Judge Judy. I would either return it to the ex straight off, or make very sure that there is no legal obligation (and some of that stuff gets very murky) then sell it.

    If you had broken off the engagement because you got cold feet, in most states he could sue for return of the ring or its replacement value if you don’t have it any more.

    If he breaks off the engagement because he got cold feet, in most states you can keep it and do whatever you want with it.

    Pretty much everything else is in between so I’d try to find some prior cases on the public record in the jurisdiction(s) where you lived when you got engaged and when you split up to find one that matches your scenario.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4713 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 1998

    I am sorry I disagree with my fellow bees my daughter always wanted the rings that I received from her father (broken relationship) but they were stolen when our house was broken into. She wanted it because it reminded her of the happiness that her father and I once had together and it was a sad day when she knew it was gone. Let your son make up his mind if he wants it and if not then sell it at that point.

    Post # 9
    Member
    9954 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Looks like it has some “history” for you, but not enough that you feel YOU HAVE TO GET RID OF IT… and therefore aren’t open to having it reset into something else.

    So I say hold onto it for now.

    My previous E-Ring (first marriage) had a 0.30 Carat Diamond, so I know that it is quite modest in size (but not ummm invisible)

    As the saying goes, “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend”… so eventually you might want to do something nice with it, maybe add it with some other gems (that you either buy… or end up with over the course of time).

    A diamond (kind of) holds its value / charm over time … so although you would find putting out the cost for a reset now rather prohibitive, you might not in the future.  And could do something more special with it

    OR as you’ve suggested, hold onto it to give to your son (whether he uses the ring, or has the diamond reset for a gift for his future wife, etc)

    IMO, in the end you’ll be farther ahead than taking the deep discount money you’ll get for it on the “second hand resale market”

     

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    1576 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Bad memories = sell it.

    Your son won’t miss it. If you never mention it, the thought will probably never even cross his mind that it existed.

    If you want it to benefit your son, put the money you get into a college fund or savings account of some sort.

    My FI’s grandmother is trying to get us to use the cake topper from his parent’s wedding. Their marriage lasted barely a year. That’s just bad icky karma that I don’t want around. Why this woman kept this thing in a fancy mirrored display cabinet for nearly 30 years is beyond me. 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    437 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I sold my wedding set from my first marriage. As a newly single mother, it was a good financial shot in the arm when I needed it most. I had considered keeping the main stone to set in a pendant (it was a beautiful 1.17ct oval, so so so lovely) but in the end, it wasn’t something I wanted to look at every day.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5073 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I sold mine. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1437 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    When my sister called off the engagment, she found out she was pregnant, so she decided to keep a box of stuff for him when he got older. And that included her ring.

    Post # 14
    Member
    380 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I’m having the same issue.  My ex and I are not on good terms, but we have a son together.  My current Fiance told me to sell my rings but I really want to let my son decide when he gets older. 

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Etiquette wise it is returned to the giver regardless of who broke it off.

    In some states, by law it is considered a conditional gift and until the condition of marriage is met it belongs to the giver. Sorry 🙁

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