Post # 1
I’ve been having an issue with my to be mother inlaw not listening to me about her dress. Shes free to pick what she wants and the color. However the color she wants is dark blue to match the bridesmaids which I don’t want her to do. My mom already got her dress and is wearing red so if she would get blue my mom would stick out like crazy! I have told her now like 5 times and she keeps saying she wants blue. I wouldnt even care if it was a light blue but I dont want her the same as the other girls. She says the moms should be the same colors as the wedding colors cause thats how her wedding was. It’s my wedding and I dont want it that way and I don’t want my mom feeling weird sticking out that much in bright red as she already feels weird cause hers was suppose to be darker then it is. The guy ordered from screwed up the color. I would like her to be a nice bright color too which I keep trying to convince her to do but she won’t listen to me. Any thoughts on how I can get her to knock it off and realize its my wedding and if I don’t want her in blue to stop trying to push it?!
Post # 3
Can you offer to take her shopping so that you can both look at dresses together?
BUT remember that at the end of the day, a dress color is not worth the extra stress/headache, if she puts her foot down and wants to wear Bridesmaid or Best Man blue. Maybe try looking at her perspective as well (she doesn’t want to be twinsies with your mother since she’s an older, grown woman?). Your mother will look lovely in her red, and instead of thinking of it as “sticking out,” you can think of it as “standing out” (much more positive). 🙂
Post # 4
its your wedding, so she needs to be more understanding. Explain to her that this is the color that she needs to wear and that’s that.
Post # 5
I have a similar problem.
My future Mother-In-Law is Korean, as is my mother, and while my mother is wearing a traditional Korean dress, my future Mother-In-Law is not. I expressed to my future Mother-In-Law that I wanted her to wear a Korean dress, she said something about Korean tradition and not feeling comfortable “in her heart” to wear a traditional Korean dress. So rather than deal with the headache, arguements, or whatever that would ensure, I just said okay. So now she’s wearing a blue knee length dress that looks like something one would wear to church. This will clash with my bridesmaids’ red dresses, but the fact that my step-mother will also be wearing an American dress, I’m less upset about it now than I was months ago.
I don’t know if this helped at all. 😛
Post # 6
So because your mom picked red … you making your Future Mother-In-Law pick red? What if she doesn’t like that color … or looks terrible in it.
She’s not getting a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress right? So who cares if she matches… I mean seriously your mom went with red .. did she think she wouldn’t stand out?
ETA are you paying for your FMIL’s dress… then maybe you can call the shots on that
Post # 7
As long as theydont wear wedding dresses, our families and guests can wear what they want. The important thing is that the people we love are there with us not whether we get pretty pictures.
Post # 8
I didn’t have any input into what my mom or Mother-In-Law wore– it never occurred to me to worry about it. My mom ended up with a dress that was only a slightly darker shade of my wedding colors and honestly, I loved it. I know that may not seem helpful, but in the grand scheme of things I’m not sure this should be considered a big problem. There will likely be other guests in bright clothes and your mom will blend right in.
Post # 9
@jbbs1222: I would show her pictures of different style dresses in different colors. Maybe she’ll end up liking one of them and go with a different color.
Post # 10
Your Future Mother-In-Law and BMs may be together in like one picture…if that. I think you’re asking too much. This doesn’t sound like an argument worth having, especially if you’ve already asked her 5 times. She should wear what she wants.
Post # 11
@HisIrishPrincess I’m not asking her to wear red too. I’m just asking her not to wear the same color as the BMs. And my mom actually picked a darker red like a claret/burgandyish color but we had them custom made and the guy screwed up and the color came out a lot brighter then we wanted. Were working on possibly dying it darker but its chiffon so not sure if we can.
@MlleFabuleux I am suppose to take her shopping to help pick it out and she wants my Fiance to cmoe too so hopefully together we can change her mind. She usually does wear brigther colors likes pinks and light purples which is what I origanally thought she would go with cause it her favorite colors.
Post # 12
She is free to wear whatever she wants. The bride gets to dicatate the attire of her Maid/Matron of Honor and BMs, that’s it. Seriously, not a hill worth dying on. Do you really want to start your marriage at odds with your Mother-In-Law, over a dress? C’mon now. Much better things to spend time worrying about than this. No one’s going to mistake her for a bridesmaid, and if they do, who cares?
Post # 13
Yeah, I’m a 3 time MOB and this isn’t even an ant hill to die on. No one will confuse her for a Bridesmaid or Best Man at all. It really doesnt’ matter if she wears the dark blue. As far as your mom’s dress goes, I’m sure she will look stunning.
I know you say you don’t want her to wear the same color as the BM’s, but you also say if Future Mother-In-Law gets a blue dress your mom will stick out like crazy. Your Future Mother-In-Law shouldn’t be expected to choose a dress that makes your mom feel better about a dress that is brighter than she wanted. I’m sure it will all be fine. The best pictures are made when people feel beautiful and happy. She needs to choose the color and dress that makes her feel that way.
Post # 14
I agree with Always Sunny. I remember my sister’s Mother-In-Law ordered the same color dress as our skirts were (back when seporates were the style) and yeah, it really did NOT matter in the end.
No one is going to think she’s a Bridesmaid or Best Man. The pictures are going to end up in an album in the closet. It’s really not worth stressing over.
Just b/c it’s your wedding doesn’t mean you can dress people. (except bridal party members of course)
Post # 15
I’d let this one go. I do understand why you’re annoyed, but realistically no one is going to think she is a bridesmaid, and there will be very few pictures of her with the bridesmaids, and also very few times when her and your mom will be next to eachother. Yes it’s your wedding and I know you’re concerned about your mom’s feelings – BUT it’s also equally your husband’s wedding, so his mom’s feelings matter just as much. I’d keep looking into getting your mom’s dress dyed, or make the guy screwed it up fix it, if that will help her feel less insecure about the color. Don’t take it out on your Mother-In-Law.
Post # 16
Wonderstruck beat me to the punch, but I’ll echo: It’s also her son’s wedding in addition to yours, and you would be wise to prioritize your long-term relationship with her over the short-term issue of what color she wears to the wedding.