Post # 1
My fiancé and I have not been lucky in the grandparents departement. We’ve lost all but one of them, and unfortunately our last surviving grandparent has dementia and is in a specialised retirement home, so she won’t be able to come.
The difficulty we are facing is that there is a great aunt, who is a lovely person, but she is also rather simple and needs constant attention. This great aunt lives in Scotland, and we are having our wedding in Paris (where we live), which means that if she were to come she would need to be put on a plane, taken to hotel etc… . At my sister in law’s wedding, my fiance and I looked after her, but we will obviously be a bit too busy on our own wedding day her take care of herfax don’t want my mother in law to have to take care of her on the day either because we are having a really small wedding and it would be terrible if somebody had to take her home, and leave our reception because of this.
There is also the financial aspect, which is that this aunt has very little money, so it would be up my mother in law to foot the plane ticket and hotel bills.
So my questions is this, knowing that is nobody to really take care of her the day of, and knowing that we would have to pay for her to come over, should we tell her we are getting married and not mention an invitation, or invite her without offering to pay? Or something else?
Thanks for any ideas, I’m at a total loss here!
Post # 3
I don’t know what “simple” means…but anyway. My grandfather lives in a retirement community, and needs some help with getting up and down, and moving around, and just kind of needs attention in general. So, instead of it being me, my mom, or my aunt (who are usually the ones with him), we’re inviting one of the people he likes who works at his retirement community to be his guest/helper person. She’ll help him get situated and all, and she’ll participate in the wedding as a guest otherwise.
If you can afford to help your aunt attend the wedding, I’d invite her. If you can’t, I’d still invite her.
Post # 4
@peachacid: I would like to invite her as shreally really nice person, but I wouldn’t be the one paying, and I wouldn’t be the one taking care of her. She is my fiance’s mother’s aunt, so the decision is ultimately hers. As she is paying for about 90% of the wedding, I want her to have a good time, and not exhausted herself looking after said aunt.
And I didn’t want to be mean when I said that she was simple, I just meant that she needs slightly more care than other people, that she can’t be left alone at all.
Post # 5
Talk to your mother-in-law. Say that the aunt is a lovely person and you would love to have her share your day, but you know from SIL’s wedding that she needs someone to be with her all the time. (Perhaps SIL is the one who takes care of her this time?) And you also know that it would be a financial strain on the aunt to come — so what does SHE think is the proper course of action?
This way it is a problem for you and your new family to solve together. 🙂