Post # 1
Slight bridesmaid dilemma here… I have 8 friends that I may ask to be bridesmaids. But of those, probably half or less will actually want to/be able to be in my wedding (they’re not all keen on being in weddings, lol, which can be understandable). Of these, two are my best friends. I’m extremely close to each of them, though the relationship is different. It’s these two that I would want to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.
I don’t want to hurt the feelings of anyone so I’m not sure how to handle this. And in my case, my wedding will be a small, casual, mostly non-traditional, backyard affair… I don’t have any expectations from my bridesmaids to pay for or plan anything (except maybe the dress, but I am going to buy all of their dresses if I can); I want zero stress on them. If they ask to plan stuff or do stuff, of course I will let them, but I’m not expecting it and don’t expect them to perform “bridesmaid duties” in the traditional sense. I’ve been a bridesmaid once and it was quasi-miserable; I’m determined to not make it like that for my friends.
That being said, the “maid of honor” would be just an honorary title. Even if I chose one friend to be the Maid/Matron of Honor and not the other, I don’t think she would say anything; and maybe she wouldn’t care at all, I don’t know.
So…. what would you guys do? Have two maids of honor?? Have no Maid/Matron of Honor, and everyone all a bridesmaid? Call everyone an MOH? Lol. Help!
Post # 2
I was apart of a triangle besties situation where I was the one not chosen as the maid of honor and to this day it pisses me off! lol! I said I didnt care to be polite and not upset anyone but guess what I DO CARE! lol! I mean I knew the bride since we were kids and the 3 of us didnt all become best friends until middle school so whats up with that! This was over 10 years ago so see what commotion this causes! Tread carefully!! lol!
Post # 3
I would go with 2 maids of honor. You will almost definitely hurt someone’s feelings if you only pick one Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 4
Have no maids of honor. Two MoH is way too much fussiness for a casual wedding.
Post # 5
make them both co-maids of honor. If you pick one, the other will think (know?) that you like the other one just a teeny bit better.
Post # 6
i’ve got two best friends – one is a maid of honour, one is a matron of honour
Post # 7
frogprincess: I’m having 2 MOH’s. My sister and my cousin. My sister will stand first, and cousin behind her. But regardless, they both mean the same to me and I couldn’t decide between them, so I picked them both.
Post # 8
frogprincess: i have 2 best friends…but luckily one of them was married and one was single when i got married so i had a matron and a maid. worked out great! if that had not been the case, i would have probably just not had a Maid/Matron of Honor at all, so as to not hurt feelings 🙂
Post # 9
Have 2 Maids of Honor. I had 3 girls and all of them were my Maid/Matron of Honor: my sister and bff were Maids and my other bff was Matron (married with a baby).
Post # 10
frogprincess: I have a couple of notes.
1. you say you’re having a small casual wedding, but want to ask 8 of your friends to stand with you. Even if some of them decline, you have to be prepared for all of them accepting, and 8 is a lot.
2. You have 2 people that you really want to be in a place of honor.
I would just cut the bridal party and have those two be your two attendants. You can call them bridesmaids or maids of honor, but if there’s just two of them, then it gives them the distinction tha they are the most important to you.
I decided to choose a sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor and friends and my other sister as my bridesmaids.
Post # 11
I would either have two Maid/Matron of Honor and the rest as bridesmaids. Or just have everyone as bridesmaids and not have a Maid/Matron of Honor.
I don’t really think it matters whether the wedding is casual or not, you should honour the girls you want in the way you want.
Post # 12
I’m not having one. The one who is more traditional will stand next to me and the partier will sit next to me at dinner. I felt like they would appreciate these places.
My mom is planning the shower with help from all girls.
Post # 13
I had two maids of honor and it worked out beautifully. My wedding was not as casual as yours, but not super formal, and no one batted an eye about two maids of honor. (Nor would I have cared if they did.) I say choose to have two or none. Picking one could lead to some seriously hurt feelings.
Post # 14
Either have no maid of honour or make both of them maids of honour! I’m not having a Maid/Matron of Honor, just two bridesmaids
Post # 15
frogprincess: Either have two Maid/Matron of Honor or none and just make everyone bridesmaids