(Closed) What to do with two girls who don’t really have a place in the wedding party?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

It seems a bit harsh to ask his older sister to be bridesmaid but not his younger sister. The younger one will probably be really disappointed and will cry in secret because she feels left out. I can remember crying to my mom when I wasn’t picked to be bridesmaid, and my mom was really annoyed and said “We’re family, would it really have killed her to have one more bridesmaid to make a little girl happy?!” I was so upset, the situation really created bad feelings in the family for a long time.

I know you only wanted four bridesmaids, but in this case maybe you could make an exception and have five? Remember this girl will soon grow up and will be your sister-in-law for the rest of your life!

Your niece is slightly different as she isn’t a first degree relative of the wedding couple. Really it depends how close to her you are, and whether her parents (or your parents!) expect her to be a bridesmaid. If you’re close then I’d probably still consider making her a bridesmaid just to keep everyone happy.

Weddings aren’t just about the couple; they’re about bringing families together. I wouldn’t enforce a strict rule about four bridesmaids if it’s going to upset little girls who will probably never forgive you, and also upset their parents and grandparents. Like my mom said that time: Would it really kill you to have more bridesmaids if it makes your families happy?

Post # 5
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

might you be able to have them pass out programs or be guest book attendants?  If you are having readings, you could have them do readings.  I am sure that there is something that you can have them do to help out in some way… 

Post # 6
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

@SweetHoneyBee: How old is the flower girl and ringbearer? Could one be a ring bearer assistant and a flowergirl assistant. They could walk down the aisle with them. Then sit at the front with them…. just a thought

Post # 7
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

Don’t have his sisters as bridesmaids then, if it will cause the stepmom from hell to go into control freak mode. If you’re not going to have both of his sisters then it’s probably better not to have either of them. They’re YOUR bridesmaids, so it’s perfectly fine to choose people that YOU’RE close to, and not his sisters. In this situation it sounds like your niece will be a better choice than either one of his sisters.

I’m not sure that I agree with groomsmen and bridesmaids paying for their own clothes though… I think the stepmom is right in this regard. You ask them to participate in YOUR wedding, you TELL them what to buy (no free choice), and then you expect them to spend their own money on clothes they’ll never wear again? That seems somewhat unfair to me.

Post # 10
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

If you really want to keep it small, just have 3 bridesmaids, and don’t have any of his sisters. But I think if you are having 1 sister, you need to have both. Could his younger sister and your niece be junior bridesmaids? They wouldn’t have to do anything but walk down the aisle and look pretty. Or I’d ask them to hand out programs, or bubbles or something.

Post # 11
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

And as for his stepmom, maybe upfront say you’ll pay for half the costs of dress etc, and that you would be so greatful for them covering the rest. If she kicks up a fuss, bow out and let your Fiance deal with her.

The topic ‘What to do with two girls who don’t really have a place in the wedding party?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors