- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I’m the first to get married in my group of friends and no one really know the work involved with planning a wedding and the roles of being a bridesmaids.
I have 3 bridesmaids, one from work (MOH), one from college (BM1) and one from high school (BM2). They all have good jobs now and spend money pretty liberally – travling, eating out, etc.
I am having some problems communicating with them and would like some advice.
My fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves and we are on a budget. We already paid for the BM dresses, and I plan to get them jewelry as part of their BM gifts.
I found a pair of black sandals for $20 at Payless and asked them to purchase it and only BM1 made the purchase. The other two waited over a month and now the sandals are no longer available. BM2 is wearing a pair she already has and MOH is buying another pair she chose herself for $60.
I’ve been doing research and found the cheapest place for makeup and hair, at the Ulta salon near the venue, $30 for makeup and $55 for hair updo. We have already paid for anything we can afford so that the bridesmaids don’t need to spend too much to be in the wedding. I mentioned the cost of hair and makeup to two of them and they were upset they had to pay for their own hair and makeup. I can try to pay for it, but at the same time I’m disappointed because only one of them has done any of the BM duties.
MOH- she is the only one planning the bachelorette party. She is also planning the bridal shower which my moom and fiance’s mom will pay for. She is willing to pay for hair and do makeup herself. I’m fine with this and will to pay for her makeup if everyone else is doing theirs, since she’s done a lot!
BM1- she will be driving to attend the shower, was the only one that was responsive and got the shoes, and will not be attending the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner. haven’t talked to her about hair and makeup yet, but she seems to be okay with it
BM2- she will be traveling to attend the wedding, she used miles to book her flight, and I’m paying for all her other travel expenses (hotel, transportation, etc). not part of bachelorette party or bridal shower. Does not want to pay for hair or makeup. If she does get her hair done, she wants something different from the other two girls. The other two girls are putting their hair in an updo, she wants to do half-up so it’ll look different.
I didn’t know the actual roles of the bridesmaids until I had already asked them to be my bridesmaids. Is it my fault for not making it clear what the expectations are? I thought most of the times bridesmaids paid for all their expenses and brides were in charge of bouquet and gift.
Do I need to pay for hair and makeup for BM2? Or should I just have her look different? I really want them to look uniform, but if they are all wearing different shoes, then I feel discouraged to spend extra money to have everything else match.
Sorry for the rant.. Just a little stressed.. wedding’s in less than a month. Not sure what to do. Maybe I’m over reacting… Any advice will be appreciated!